the scent of fear

the scent of fear

a whiff

of insecurity

she breathes

on to me

the faintest hint...

and i feel

faint

i am caught

in it

i can't breathe

the air is not here

now

her fault

i die

her fault

my bottom falls out,

my premise,

of false security: she is my strength

her faulty foot step

and

i am shaken to the core

this must be changed

it's broken

i must teach her she is wrong

immediately

because

i am falling

unsafe

she must secure herself

so my rope is whole

and so the fire grows

because i teach her

she is wrong

i point out to her

her error

and i must win this.

my life depends on it

my whole identity is placed so shakily

out there

her crushing silence

withholds

my love

that i am

and so

now she much die

for me to live

there is another way

another day

born now

a whiff of fear...

of her mistep out of love's perception

i see

she has done nothing

but is dreaming she has stepped off a cliff

and feels her stomach rising into her throat

the sensation of a world

pulled out from under her

Clarity sees the simplicity

sanity/truth doesn't dive off the cliff with her

into the lie

the prison

the hell

of

if only she...

if only she...

i would be okay

i reach out my hand

extend it over the edge of the cliff

right into her fear

right into the darkness

i meet her

i don't tell her she is full of shit

because

i am not in pain

i realize i stand on firm high ground

my hand reaches

to share

this never moving mountain

calm

i need do nothing

for certain,

she is not wrong

asleep, yes,

in that moment

her pain is undeniable

i don't ask her

to fake it

to shake it

i don't tell her

her dream is lasting far too long

for my convenience

and my comfort

i simply see

i hear

i listen

i know

truth is inevitable

i know

she is the sun

dreaming for but an instant

and i rest

for it is my experience

that every single day of my life

the sun rises

and provides far more

than i could ever use

and i

do nothing for it

the sun now extends through me

to remind

to be the star

she can see

even in her sleep

and so i see she does

see the light

i need not hurry her

i know

in the night

rest is a gift

i know

in the silence

God's Voice

is heard more clearly

i remember

that when someone is falling

telling them what to do

or that they shouldn't fall

is like ordering the river to stop

and i can see

that letting my life depend

on stopping a river

is not good or bad,

it's impossible

i will never stop

the river

i simply allow her

to flow...

to the ocean

to the valleys

to the desert

to every part of the world

she will

there is nothing to fear

but trying to stop

the river!

this

is

resurrection