without the thought" I am alone"

who/what would i be

without the thought i am alone?

i notice my breathing

being

breathed

being done

it

reaches over and gets a sip of coffee

writes these words

adjusts the pillow under this notebook

a sip of water

the stream continues

slows

stillness

asks again

without the thought I am alone...

i extend out forever

i am a flower

my palms, the tulip petals

being

being

being

a smile blooms on my face

my lips turn upward

without a trace of strain

it would only be a strain to hold it back,

to resist it

to hide it and not let it shine

be expressed

reflected

manifested

i am reminded of the intimacy i share

with people even after long stretches of seeming time

i see it doesn't matter how often i talk to someone

or get together

i see its how i see them in my mind

when they do appear

without the thought i am alone

i am gratitude

for each face

each heart

i remember all the gifts

that live now

in me/as me

appreciation

i bless them

i am a blessing to the world,

upon the world

without the thought i am alone

free

pacified

curious

restful

softly waiting

like the pad on a cat's paw,

like the content cat

who sits so still

and has nothing to do

and nowhere to go

and is ready for anything,

ready to jump and play and chase

right now

i need no preparation

for the next moment

being totally at rest,

i am ready

for anything

i am a kid again

happily playing

totally absorbed

in my doll, or sand, or clay

or painting

or watching the goldfish

or petting the cat

in my own little world

making up all the rules of my make believe town

having fun

making up all the characters

and the funny words they say to each other.

('i want to get married and have a baby" , I wrote in my tiny notebook around the age of 8,

as the script of some adults i made up)

without the thought i am alone

i see the play going on everywhere all around me

i see i can jump in any time

or just watch

just watch

the show

give a hand when asked

and listen

hear

everybody's heart

see me in every word

i come home

to my brother

and sister

i see

the Oneness

i hear every word you say

coming directly from God/Love

to me

i see

the Love Song never stops

the sound of traffic

the steam of the boiling water

the silence of the cat on the window sill

the sunbeams bouncing off the paper

and spraying all over the room

my heart

my breath

the tv turned off

the giant kiss of words in my book

the music forever

giving

panting

pouncing

ga-sliding

leafing out

and falling crumpled to the floor

again

amen

i am

never

alone

thoughts are vines

a jungle is not a vacant lot