raindrops don't stop

what happens is always

the best,

kindest,

thing

that can possibly

be happening

when someone leaves

its kind

water flows

think if your drain was blocked

and it could not go

if you couldn't leave your house

if someone was locked in your house,

locked in your life,

handcuffed to you by guilt

a sick picture

raindrops stuck

in midair

very unnatural

a total fantasy

let the rain fall

ask no one to stop

their path

it's as unnatural as asking

a raindrop to hold itself up

in the sky

they can't do it

and your happiness cannot

depend on it

rain is meant to fall

people are meant

to walk toward you

and away

the dance,

turnaround,

they are there,

turnaround,

they are behind you,

turn around and around and around ...

and enjoy

this note

this beat

this flash!

of light!

what would you teach me?

painting in front of me,

what would you teach me today?

layers

upon

layers

ever changing

nothing static

nothing rigid

changing color, shape, texture

playful

colorful

dance

pink over here,

try this little snippet,

how does it feel to you?

response is not mental

play

just play

no one right way,

infinite possibilities,

continual creation

tension, release

calm , busy

restful, high contrast

moving around,

it all exists at once

where are you focusing?

are you stuck in one place?

it's all in relationship

to "you"

all helpful,

all

part of the painting

nothing serious

pure imagination

the drama is a play

play

play

play

you can remember this anytime

spectate

spectacle

spectacles

seeing

is believing

what are you

beholding?

the deepest part of you

might as well

say hello

meeting ourself

every where

hello hello hello

it all echoes

all things are echoes

of the Voice

for God

thank you, painting

is it real?

is that an image

in your mind

or is it real?

see the image when you think about someone?

see how distorted it is....?

thoughts are images

are you worshipping images

in place of reality...

what is here right now....gone?

is the image in your mind real

or pure imagination?

is it the past

or the future?

...ie. pure imagination

so you miss

now?

so you miss

you?

ok now

ok now

ok now

wake up!

images are dreams

images are dreams

notice

reality is gifting, gifting, gifting, gifting...

notice

notice

notice

wow!

i need do nothing

notice

interesting

curious

what is ...

this flowing river....

ever changing

coming to me

leaving me

open open open

to receive

to release

flowing through me

river

river

river

of

God....good...blessings....all

reality

give me a sign

give me a sign

she said

and so it is

each face

each eye

each heart

a flash of light

of understanding

open communication

speeding train of light

from one "station" to "another"

within me

to within you

open vessels

tunnel of light

give me sign

is

only

to

look within

open

to the light

within

and see the infinite network

of the One

Universe

flashes of light

everywhere you look

your eye being the opening

the opening

the opening

to allow

light

to enter

to allow light

to travel

outward

and enter

your sister's

open space

timeless

speedless

ever present

beaming

the signs

are every

where

there is no thing

without light

under

standing

support

of you

give me

a sign

signify to me

i am

that i am

flash!

God is

i am

i am

the sign

i am

the sign

i've been waiting for

i am the sign

the world

wants

to see

more than anything ...

more

than

any

thing

show your Self

the sign is here

now

impossible to part

thank you thank you thank you....hymn of praise for my Creator...

lovemaking

God cannot rest in the separate.

can you rest in two pieces?

arms cut off

legs

divided

civil war

resting is attraction

i love you

drawn

pulled

moved towards

is Godness

so the universe

all holding hands

feet

necks, ears

lovemaking

licking

touching

so my thoughts,

held by God,

are gently held,

no outcasting any form of idea

look but with love,

go toward

approach

every thought,

listen

in quiet,

to her screams

and cries

of not enough,

while you hold her close

the tears,

there is no scream

the Loving Mother

doesn't adore

"i want You, Mother"

She hears,

"i want You"

desire

attraction

of God for/to God

Everywhere

re turn me,

turn me around,

point me in the direction

of my Home...

rest

Home is in everyone i see,

Union

God cannot rest in the "separate",

yet even there,

She is

hopeless

where there is no hope left

there

is God

give up all hope of answer

complete surrender

for something something totally new

to come

without motive

without outcome

of any kind

of any form

we simply admit (the truth)

we are totally clueless

about what is going on...

what i am

where i am going

what it is for

completely clueless

hopeless

empty

now there is room

at the inn

i was wrong about everything

(no exceptions...)

reality is not what

i thought (my thinking)

reality bears no relationship

to form,

appearance,

dreams

to have hope for this dream

is to cherish illusion, fantasy

over truth/revelation

"eye" will be still (close itself)

an instant

and look inward,

not out

reality is internal

infinity is internal

space is internal

God is Source

there is no hope

in finding God

outside of You

where there is no hope (left outside)

i must turn in

to God

hopelessness is the turning point,

there is no where else to go

but Higher

thank you

the pit is not bottomless

God lives actually in the very bottom of the pit

under the fall

to catch you

nothing

to fear

amen

silence

silence is the quiet forest

watching her

in the night

the silence

surrounds us

everywhere we are

notice

the silence

between

her lips

notice how the lips fall away,

as you notice the silence

that holds us

every where

in between all things

silence

isn't that interesting

to hear

suddenly all conflicts

fall away,

as we see the space,

the pauses,

in her voice

perhaps her heart,

too,

holds a space

for you

thank you

thank you for the quiet of this morning

a garden

to watch the flowers bloom

arising

peeping out

from the black mystery

gently tiptoeing

on to this page

placing one toe

and then another

and another

and another

and a stream

flows

across this page

a stream of blossoms

unannounced

unprepared for

just given

a space

a plot of time

holding no other

than

the listener

the sacred listener

Father,

i am listening

and the beautiful

blossom

appears

thank you

the river, she is free

the river

she is free

moving

in all directions at once,

yes, even backwards

in the eddies,

the swirling backwater

holding still

the leaf circling

and circling

and circling,

it seems stuck,

for a while,

yet we know

it's only a matter of time

before the rain pours

the thunder crashes

the storm resumes

to bless

this river

that all may rush forward

and cleanse these little pockets

of decaying matter,

the rocks actually budge

once in a while,

when the stream isn't but a trickle

where tiny little pebbles

are now exposed to the sunlight

the river

she is free

to be all things,

to tumble,

an shake,

and spray high into the air,

and fall,

far far below

creating waves,

and hitting bottom,

in quiet clear pools

the mist in the morning

the frost of winter

the steam in August

washing

washing

washing

us free

the river

she is free

to hurry

or be lazy

but always

a river

she is free

nothing at all

the quiet one

still

present

invisible

attracts like nothing else

everywhere holding space

if you happen to glance at her

time stands still

motion stops

this absence of sound

rest

opens

in

you

the children turn their eyes,

feel the quiet,

settle down

the way

is

quiet

maybe it isn't what you do in this world,

but what you don't

maybe it isn't what you say in this world,

but what you don't

maybe it isn't how you act,

but how you don't

maybe it isn't how you look,

but how you don't

maybe it isn't what you remember,

but how much you forget

maybe it isn't how long you've been doing it,

but how there is no time left,

not one more moment...

maybe it's not about how much you've learned and practiced and educated yourself,

but realizing you know nothing at all...

nothing

at

all

quiet

nothing is out there

no information ever comes to the body

the body's eyes do not see

close your eyes

everyone you know is there

even those long ago dead

cars

trees

everything you have ever seen,

without eyes

plug your ears.

go in a soundproof room,

listen to the music, trains,

thunder, the plunk of a stone in water,

without your ears

mouth closed

no food anywhere,

taste the honey,

chocolate, mint

onions...

feel the mouth water,

the stomach secrete acids,

without any food anywhere

hands closed,

feel the sandpaper

silk

cotton

sharp glass...feel the pain, the adrenaline

see the blood

nothing happening at all to the body

inhale

the lemon,

the broccoli,

perfume,

the sea air

all while dreaming at night,

all while dreaming at day

nothing going on,

it's all remembered,

the brain

acts completely the same

whether "real"

or remembered

it's not doing it either

it

does not know the difference

because there is none

it's all remembered,

coming from somewhere else,

every thing you'll ever experience,

a memory,

a recalling up of a past

not happening now

just imaging

for you to re-view

until you realize

you have no real eyes

to project out

it has to be in,

first,

nothing new,

just concepts

and pictures of concepts

no information ever

comes

to

the body

we couldn't see without eyes

and hear without ears

unless

we don't need them to do it

unless the body isn't needed

mind

sees the body,

not the other way around

mind sees, hears, feels, tastes, smells

we've been fooled

for thousands and thousands of years

our thoughts tell us it's the eyes,

yet every night i close my eyes and see and experience exactly what i experience with eyes open

"body" reacts exactly the same

this means

the whole world

is in my mind

there is no information that comes to me from the world

none

be very still

notice

when you think

you are seeing...

what kind of story am i telling...?

loveliness

or

loneliness?

Mama

or baby?

rest

or

worry?

there is no information that comes to the body

nothing is out there

i "see" only evidence to support/tell my story

what is it i am telling myself now?

tell the truth

all you have to do

is tell the truth

you need no books, no gurus, no computers, no things, not even any other people, safaris, places, not even a future, no technology, no philosophy...

it's all within you

the simplest thing in the world

all you have to do,

all you've ever wanted,

all peace,

is to

tell the truth

only

all

of it

the whole truth

and nothing but the truth,

so help me,

God

now is nothing hidden

to project

all guilt has seen light

and is now golden light of itself

it is but this,

hide nothing

and you are free

the truth will set you free... as you tell it to yourself

hide nothing

and no hatred can be left in your heart

hide no little tiny irritation from yourself

or "the world owes you"

to this crumb

you hold

tightly

for security

and identity

ignore/avoid nothing

or you are blind

to love

hold on to no thing,

no thought

question it all

and it floats down the river

clean at last,

clear

at last

no obstacles

to love

One

there is but One Who knows the Way

silence

be still

listen

all those other voices calling,

the children in the classroom,

rambunctious,

look at me! look at me!

me first!

he did it first!

ancient tattle taling

the listener is quiet

calm

not scared

by children

she's heard it all before

nothing new

no longer surprised

or convinced

by these babies

they are all just calling for love,

attention,

an answer to their prayer:

love me

reassure me

i hold this tender innocent newborn in my arms,

i see she wants to grow up,

and is

in every moment

enlightenment inevitable

as she hears herself,

self realization

all my voice

she lovingly holds her tiny fingers

and delights at her tiny smile

oh child,

there is no fear you can ever have

that can ever be justified

a question

and its answer

are one

baby calls,

mama answers

One cannot exist

without the other

One

Whole

Holy

Communion

listen...

tears of joy

i do not know

the tears of joy

creation brings

the purity

of no concept

of fear

the absence

of all belief

absence

absence

ab sense....a-sense, without senses

information

of senses...partial,

differences,

coverupping...

without

without

without

any senses--eyes,

skin, ears, tongue....

i'll have nothing

to go on

oh

here

is finally

the jumping off

point...

are you willing

to find out

what is,

what truly is

without any past ideas?

nothing at all

to hold on to

falling through space

without resistance

without stuckness

to anything

any place

any person

no rug under you

no floor you have ever imagined

what if...

you do not fall,

but rise....

are carried,

lifted up?

anti-gravity/serious

is levity/lighthearted

what if there is really a force

that holds you

and lifts your mind,

lights your mind,

lives your mind,

that you have no control over

(ie you are not God/you have been very wrong about reality...)

what if

there is no force at all

that holds you to this earth,

but in fact a force

that continually lifts you above it?

above

above

above

what if

it's not your knees

God wants,

but your heart?

Hearts do fly,

hearts do carry a body

through all circumstances,

know no limits,

love beyond death.

my heart

is yours,

no boundary

of skin

and bones,

or time

or religion

it is the Heart

we dive back into

the Heart that came with us

to this picture of earth

and whispers always,

you can fly

you can fly

you can fly

jump

hold no one

to any limit of any kind

you are looking directly

into your own eyes,

God's eyes,

see

only

God...

here

are

the tears of joy

what color is not part of the rainbow?

what color is not part of the rainbow?

she watches the little girl

skip along the path

long since completed

oh dear one

do you see

from above

she looks only with love

sees only love

so this innocent beauty

hopscotching along

her dress blowing in the breeze

pigtails flooping,

cane tap tap tapping

as she hobbles

through

hospital halls,

her back now curved as a baseball

the path is long ago

complete

FatherSon

never separate for a moment

everything,

a river,

the blood,

gushing waterfall,

pounding rocks,

smoothing smoothing, even the "hardest" rocks ...flowing,

cars,

trains

of thought

within

each microcosm,

cell,

movement

of the giver

rains

and dries up again

clouds shifting continuously

there is no horror you can imagine

that is ever true

What is FatherSourceParentMover,

is immutable,

Fact

oh sister

lover

brother

offspring of mind

one family

heart

so safe

let us tell no love of ours

a lie,

let us spread no rumor

of any possibility other than

divine substance

fear

war

danger

lay still now,

no more attraction

to this darling pearl

now she watches,

dreams of,

tropical fish,

grace,

beauty,

intense yellow,

blue, purple

silently held

looking back at me

from the aquarium...

all directions,

one,

no roads

in water,

so in God,

just Love

tell me

tell me

tell me

what color

is not

part of the rainbow?

what word that darts

into my particular ear

is not music, rhythm...heart?

i once heard my baby say the word, i don't trust you

all the sounds in my world

hit the cymbals,

the drums,

the crashing crescendo

torpedoed straight to my heart

that so many years later

a silence between beats is now audible

what color

is not

part

of the rainbow?

so i

am you

visions of sugarplums

"last night"

i dreamed of trees

the most beautiful

alive

trees

i've ever known

indescribable

in love

never ever wanting to leave,

my heart,

these trees and i

in love

does not say it,

words

are so little

for these images and feelings

and then we were leaving

the dream,

the vision,

remains

the love

the oneness

absolutely no boundaries

the people friendly

Christ

in everything,

in every rosy clay brick,

the buildings,

stays with me

can never leave

mind

heart overflows

here is what painters

paint from,

where poems and songs

arise,

teachers call forth from students,

love

passion

oneness

i share now

with you/me

gold,

frankinsense,

myrrh,

trees,

all me

smiling so brightly

can you see the Son

shining

on

the

see?

:-)

funny

it is funny

i really always believed i need a man to be happy...

and now

there isn't one

and the truth is

i really love this space

no other body here

no man here

to consider

to diffuse my focus

to interfere

to pay attention to

why is it better?

it truly is

what a gift

this silence

to hear

no static

no chatter

no requests

no quests

no pulls

no pushes

just clear unobstructed space

to receive

reception

wedded bliss

reception

of

God

welcoming

time allotted

silence alloted

nothing else to do

just receive

experience

the second coming

Christ

now

presenting

flowing

just simply coming and coming and coming

i don't raise a finger

wholly without effort

is

the only thing you ever have to do

is stop

everything

you are doing

without distraction

God is

funny...

i always thought i needed

something

else

without a target

the ego needs a target, a specific

it is the concept of form

without it...

nothing to hold on to

topsy turvy

she tries this on

she entertains a new idea...

wow! a whole world opens up

expanding exponentially

all the dead,

the crucified,

come back to live,

to love,

resurrection

of course, its exponential

do you see the flowers blooming

as each unloving thought you have ever had

is shown you

and undone?

for every hurt you've ever felt

a kiss is now experienced

heaven gently opens her petals

to you

all scenery retreats

the heart but gives and gives and gives

and

gives

without

a target

falling apart

falling apart

no ground

to stand on

no evidence

it wants to make a case

to win,

but nothing holds up

it just can't find

a bad guy,

a lack of love,

a sin

to condemn

"frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn"

just doesn't have a place in the script anymore

without a victim

no separation is possible

i've no one to blame

who am i now?

and they all lived happily ever after...

the monster is shrinking,

watching from the corner of the stage,

waiting to be fed

like the temptation to gossip

the old lines just hanging in space,

without a job now

identity

falling apart

falling

no ground to stand on

mystery

have you ever wondered about

what you can't see

because

you believe it is not there?

test it

what if you don't do all the things you think you need to to?

what if you don't believe your thinking?

what if you hear everything it tells you as if it is a two year old telling you what to do?

what if you don't need to "get"?

what if you are not a sucker up of resources, but a giver, a surplus gifting the universe?

what if reality is endlessly overflowing, expanding, exuding, increasing?

what if my function is not to work, but to play?

what if the nature of human beings is generosity and cooperation?

what if fear is outmoded/old-fashioned/caveman?

what if the answer to everything you ever thought was yes, was really no?

and the answer to everything you ever thought was no, was yes?

and all the false was true, and the true, false?

what if death is really life?

and what we think of as life is really death?

what if everything we ever believed is backwards?

would you stop for a moment

and

consider?

i shall not want

the thought

"i want...."

kicks up the dust

in the mind

CLOUDS

the air

the space

the vision

of everything

"i want"

boards over

the spring,

i can no longer see,

hear,

feel,

it's flow coming through me

the effortless

fullness,

the laughter,

the sparkle

gone out of my eye

the moment

"i want" kicks up

the dust in my mind

horses stir

to prepare

for this endeavor

hoofbeats,

sweat,

flaring nostrils,

the call of sex,

of animal,

of body

"i want"

blocks

the stillness,

Origin

i forget

the still

become

tantrum

drum

drum

drum...

drumming

my identity

because

as soon as i stop

the silence

is

i shall not want.

yeah, though i walk

through the valley

of the shadow of denial,

i will fear no ego thoughts,

for stillness is what i am

grandmother...

inside

your heart

is the greatest love

you will ever

know

inside

your

heart

grandmother lives

to tell you

of her love

her story of devotion

how delicate your forehead curl

your baby skin

your sparkling eyes

she waits completely

still

in your heart

whenever you are ready

to climb into her lap

dear dear dear child

my cookies are steaming

my arms holding you even while

you dream you are not in them,

love

is

all

there

is

come dear blessed angel

so long asleep

God is your Name

Feel this absence of all toys,

physicality, weight...

the wordless...

grandmother/child

forever one expanding heart

encompassing all

there is

inside

your heart

is the greatest love

you will ever

know

rainbow

have you ever seen a rainbow appear?

we don't see it

until it's there

notice

trust the unseen,

what rainbow, prism of the whole sprectrum,

is there, but not yet seen by our eyes?

a man

came back,

defenseless,

sitting there,

listening,

resting,

so nondemanding

a space

prepared

for whatever

so grateful

for this space

"another" offers

to lay my thoughts

words

feelings

out in this open space

that it might be received

with love

honor

and respect

allowed

to be

wholly

fully

crying

expressing

and the friend

remains kind,

only kind,

in the face

of any thought

redemption

so grateful

nothing i ever think, say or do

can hurt anyone or anything

when met

with kindness

stillness remains forever undisturbed

endless song

of gratitude

rainbow: light shining through the rain

gift of a blizzard

gift of a blizzard

"alone" on the couch,

looking out the window,

checking the computer...

no one else here,

i imagine

Brooke, Ted, Joann,

images appear,

i light up,

i light myself up,

thankful for the love

i feel

toward these images/symbols

in my mind

the "snow" piled up on the "tree",

are these really two separate "things"?

without a name,

there are no numbers,

no knowing,

no boundaries

i feel happy

when i look,

the light

glistening and bouncing

to "me"

curious

designer

of this fantastic!

fantasy

watch

the parade of images

watch

watch

watch

no one else is here...:-)

shut in with "me",

the universe,

within

Sanity's Prayer, Your Heart's Desire

Sane Mind

(our Father Mind Who art In HeavenPerfectPeace)

re-mind me of You, Sanity

(Thy Kingdom come,

our one Will of Joy be remembered)

when i am tempted

to believe

i am not sane...

i need,

i want,

i should be different,

anything should be different

(lead us not into temptation, fear, believing a thought, imagination, worshipping what isn't)

let us question such insane thinking

(but deliver us from evil)

for Sanity is All That Is

(for Thine is the Kingdom)

lies/wishes/misperception have no power over truth/reality

(and the Power)

nothing feels better than the truth

(and the glory)

lies/beliefs have never been true

(forever)

and so it is

(amen)

receive yourself

space

is without property,

handles,

identification tags

luggage tumbling through space,

underwear flying,

blouses,

high heels...

the suitcase fell open,

a kaleidoscope now,

of shapes, colors, designs

owned by no one now,

back to the universe

where they came from

so "we" tumble

through space

falling, bending, smiling, now frowning,

coming around a corner,

speeding along the freeway,

now pulling slowly into the driveway

or floating on a tropical wave

where will the universe

have me burst open to

next?

cross what path?

"i" remember

"i" am but one beautiful piece

of stained glass

among the infinite

where will the Beauty

shining through me

fall today?

first

on my eyes

i behold

the emerald glow,

the light

within

receive your Self

this day

and

be whole

all beauty

in heaven

and earth

is you

free snow! free reminders!

the snowflakes show us

what's invisible

is there

the unseen air

is now visible

it's always moving,

blowing

filling the space

that seems empty,

between us,

to prove

we are two

but

if the space

is not empty,

but full,

and there is no space,

then there is only one

nothing not touching the whole,

no speck of your body

not being touched,

in connection

with the whole

at all times

thank you, flakes,

that show us,

they do not fall straight to the ground,

there is no vacuum,

no gap,

in God

nothing

ever

leaves

the snow may seem to vanish...

but that is only

through

the eyes of a child...

mama

does not cry for the melting of a snowflake...

she sings for the fertile crop she knows it will bring

in the spring,

the rushing rivers,

the bath water,

and boiling soup...

come, little snowflakes, come

and

we sing

and we sing

and we sing

at this abundance

this fullness

eternal...

a picture of Love...

no price to be paid...

it's all free,

as long as you love it

swirling flakes

flakes swirling

floating

seem to be outside

the window

ideas

float and swirl

millions of them

in this space

one at a time

they come to rest gently

on my hand or nose

and melt

from the warmth

i love this space

to meet the ancient,

the one

who continues to knock

and knock and knock...

lost child,

momma!

momma!

momma!

it's cold out here

it's snowing

help me...

momma,

i need...

i want...

you should...

momma,

can you hear me?

over and over and over

the child cries

until we sit still,

and open the door,

sit her on our lap,

and really listen

tell me everything, child,

'til you have no more to tell

i will hold you through it all

you are safe here

your story can not hurt you any more

i hold you

always

we are held

by Infinite Love

cry your eyes out

feel your feelings

let them live

let them pass through

love

is

forever

home

come, little snowflakes, come

student of the rose

without a future

i am so still

i see the roses bloom...

slowly

slowly

slowly unfurl

flowing sculpture recreating continuously

beauty

opening

opening

opening

the inside revealing itself

ever so slowly

i only notice

when i am very still

otherwise,

hurrying along,

mind in the imaginary future,

i miss it

i perceive they are doing nothing at all,

just sitting there day after day after day...

and i want to hurry them along,

rip them open

to find what is kept secret

from my sight

in the future

mind dictates to them

to keep up with my

wildly frantic flailing

how lovely

roses aren't insane

they demonstrate,

remind,

me of the sanity

i am

without a future