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The Healing Power of Writing

Hi! Welcome to the Joy of Miracles.

To write is to uncover, to unhide, to bring to light, and express what is within. To share is the end of all private thoughts, all shame, all guilt, all pain and separation. Here is all Joy found at last! Writing helps us to repeat, focus, choose, and remember ideas. The purpose of this writing is healing for all of us.

This blog is inspired by "A Course in Miracles"and The Work of Byron Katie. You are invited to share your comments by clicking on the word "comment" at the end of each post. If you scroll way down there's a little info about me and also an archive of past writing you can view by clicking on the title. Thanks so much for visiting...

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Monday, April 30, 2012

mud dripping from the ceiling

mud
dripping from the ceiling today
as i sat on the couch
in my usual way

today wasn't going to be clean and nice,
no, instead i ate  chocolate and chewed on ice

there's something underneath me
inside
that's not right
it's bad and it's wrong and it's blinding my sight

i want to be vanilla,
 not covered with sauce,
but i seem to be trying to be in charge like a  boss,
to make myself spiritual,
kind and sweet,
and it just isn't working--
 an impossible feat

to chisel and form
 an idol i made
when i already am
all that Heaven can be

imagine Love and Happiness
smothered by a blanket
and i'm trying to hide from them
even though they are my parents

it will never work
to keep mom and dad
under the living room rug
they just don't fit and it's far too snug

and i'm lonely without them
and missing my feet
it's very hard to walk and move and breathe
when i've thrown my heart out
for the seagulls to eat

i see there's nothing really wrong with me,
except i think i exist
all alone in a box,
without a parent
or heart
nor even socks

just a crazy idea
that can never be true,
there can't be a me
without a you

so thank you dear brother and mom and dad
and father and sister and all that i have

i see it's ridiculous
to think i'm alone,
if that really was true
there'd be no use for phones

and since phones are everywhere
it must be true
the wisest words i can say
are
i love you

so let the mud fall,
who cares
when you love,
just catch it
and feel it
and play with it all

there's something for me
in every black hole

a surprise
i've been denying

my very own
soul



Sunday, April 29, 2012

mama fell down

mama
sat by the stair
one day
for most of her life

waiting 
to be
lifted up

mama sat
by the stare
wonday
waiting
to be liftedup

mom, uh, sat
by the ssss tears oneday
waiting
waiting
waiting

to be
up 
lifted



mamasat,
like a thermostat,
by the steers
wunday

waiting to get turned up,
tuned up...


mama
fell down,
feeled down,
the stairs 
one day
and found
she couldn't get up

mama
lay down
at the bottom of the stairs,
a long long way down,
at the very bottom 
of the stairs,
in the basement
on the cold cement floor
and screamed in pain
at her broken bones,
broken image,
cracked mirror

she threw up
her guard

watched
her control
roll away
out of reach

and findally

she landed
square

in the center

of God




thank you was the whisper
that blew all around

and landed....

everywhere....

don't throw away the cat's purr!

God exists.

Is it true?

no. God is whatever "i" am making it up to be---my version

who are you without the thought God exists?

free
no where else to go
nothing to attain
end of struggle
to get somewhere
to get "it"
to change something

without the thought God exists
i'm  seeing what is--not missing it!
really present
listening
appreciating all the little details

his phone call
his voice
seeing this is all there is
the tiniest sound
 just the sound of his voice makes me feel warm
how amazing the tone, the quality, how very kind,
like a soothing blanket,
all else washed away
in this one note
and combinations
of music,
harmony and dis...

and oh!
the laughter!
feeling  it

overflowing
abundance

so receiving

this horn
this trumpet
in my mind
for me

Love
sounding its horn

without the thought God exists
(something else exists/
something more exists)...

Heaven/Having all
is...
no where else

listen
listen
listen

don't throw away the cat's purr!


this is it

all you will ever have


no future/God will ever give you more than you have/are right now





without the tornado

what are you


without the tornado?

without the ever present storm?

roughrider,
shootin' up the town,

a barroom sprawl,

without the gripe against your older sister
from when you were a "kid",

without the image of your mother crying,

without the need for money in your wallet,
money in your wallet,
money in your wallet...

how much
how many
how few

he got more than me!


without a past,
another body/moment,
image,
to compare "you" to

without any expectation from society/you,

what is?

nothing the world has ever taught you
will help you here...

this is the edge....

the threshold...

not to acquire

anything
from anyone

but to question
everything
you now hold precious...

ex cit ing....              ....          ...    ...   . . .



the listening space

the Way
is very quiet

it's a listening garden

a bench
where you sit down
stop walking
go neither backward
nor forward
nor up
nor down
nor sideways

just
listen

silence is the doorway

behind it,
 everything you are
everything you've ever wanted

all truth
you've blocked
from your  daily operating system

moving without direction:
chaotic past
chaotic future

unsettled feeling

The Garden
is a listening space

where your heart grows

Meet    Your    Heart,

the kindest
dearest
most intimate lovemaking
you've ever known

flowers
perfume
misting

you can never visit here
even once
and leave Her
again

She is,
Joy is,
Heaven

Listen/Garden

Mind/Garden

Bench yourself.

 notice

the Garden
ever blooming
lush
exquisitely
still
completely absent of fear....


pillow

pillow

 of stillness


all stars shooting through

flashes of light
unhindered
by atmosphere

pure 
space

no time to travel

here is there

one
reflection

each of all

pillow of no distinction

borders inconceivable

distance unheard of

"instantaneous" even an outdated concept

timeless
is where time never existed at all

no shift 
possible in purity

pillow
of pure stillness

resting

resting

resting

Sunday, April 22, 2012

neon sign

you
are the neon sign

of my hidden guilt
my denial
my unconcious
what i don't believe about myself

you
dear streetwalking hobo
vagrant
peddler
hustler

thank you, dear God,
for this
amazing sight

the inside of my mind
these images
my thoughts

i sought to keep
from my ownership,
a trick,
to forget i
put them there

every word out of their mouth,
every claim,
every judgement
every wound
every crime

my own

neon signs
everywhere
i look
listen

my thoughts

thank you, God,
for this truth

now i can hold the dear
one
in my hands

my own child

at last we meet again

peace maker
it is you i have longed for
all my life

the hidden parts
of myself

now their innocence is bright

and in this Light,
oh in this light

there is
nothing else

no more two
no more other
no more dark
no more comparison

Nothing Else

Nothing
Else


One

and
not even...
that...



what am i?

"even 'now' is a concept.
by the time you grasp it,
it is gone"
byron katie

so what am i
now?
gone


only an image of the past is ever seen

pure imagination

so
who is the dreamer,
the believer,
prior to believing
i,
body,
mother?

who would i be
without this picture of the past?

my clothing,
that con trap tion,
of hard
rigid
solid
firmly set
unquestionable,

fidelity to "me"
loyalty to this concept

unwrapping the
mummy,
the believer,
strip by strip,

not too suddenly
or light feels harsh
and blinding

the mind
is gently opened
one link
one link
one link

sometimes a chunk
seems to fall,
but it can never be pried,
never forced,
never a moment before it does
of its own accord

or the mind only holds on tighter
for its dear
death,
 god of weakness
identity

no,
first a toe
in the water of freedom,
of clarity

a kiss
to the Stranger
it once denied
was itself

and the warmth
that floods
the mind
assures itself
this is the Way

no price to pay
ever

no loss possible

what am i
without the belief
"i" am,
(what i think --all past learning...)?


resting
resting
resting

now
you can be told...

a new experience

possible



Tuesday, April 17, 2012

without mom

without a mother
(earth mother)

Heaven

time has never started
nor stopped

i believed not one word
"my mother"/the world
told me

innocent one
remains
without one glitch

effortless
she watches the playful
images
walk about
kaleidoscope
high heels
nylons
mustaches
sparkling eyes that twinkle stars out into the afternoon touching touching touching every one

colorful shapes that open wide
and erupt with "air and sound",
the tumbling
of "laughter"
(and look how closely that "word" resembles "daughter" and we all say it completely differently
because
mama said so...)

the tumbling
of cars
into one another's bellies,
gasoline pouring out so plentifully onto the sidewalk and streaming down the curb, the street, back to where it....gone

the tumbling of bridges
falling
and being re-con-structur-ed
over "rivers"

can that "word" really contain anything at all?

the ants marching marching marching
and
then
disperse

one sits down beside her on the bench

who are you?
it asks

and all she can do
is smile

Saturday, April 7, 2012

are you kidding?

my name is
not enough

my friend is
are you kidding?

what else do you really think
you need?

where would you have me attach
that extra arm, body, life?

extra life,
you say,
you don't have enough life?
you are not living fully?
half dead?

is it possible?
your heart can beat half-heartedly?
on again,
off again.

perhaps you think
you are in charge of this,
that you are right
about this...

perhaps,
the heart is beating wholly anyway,
fully happening anyway!
even in your most powerful devoted denial,
technicolor hallucination...

blood and guts!

how very kind
the truth is

tears
can never
scar

the Face
of
God...



i need your leg

how funny
i think
i need your leg,
your body,
to be happy...(like i don't already have enough legs....:-)

how really funny
"that ear",
i need your particular ear,
another ear,
to hear
what already is inside me,
mine

i think i want him
to listen to me

when i refuse
to sit still
and listen
to the most beautiful,
wise, loving, joyous,
playful Voice,
music
flowing freely
here

refusing to be quiet,
i demand you
listen to this nonsense.

i don't respect it,
and i demand you do

what a gift
to see this confusion

please forgive me, world,
i am blind to my blindness

compassion
is the only way
out...

Friday, April 6, 2012

blowing the mind

Father
blows the mind
blows the "world" away
into bits and pieces

Love
Generosity
Father
is proof
scarcity does not exist,
is not true

generosity lives me,
rivers me,
reveres me

generosity sees
the twinkle
in the midst
of suicide

generosity
will never let go of you,
let you slip under the quicksand
to be blind
by dark

generosity will kiss
you,
embrace
you,
even at mid-night,
in the darkest hour
of torture,
denial

generosity
can never change,
never give anything else
but
the truth
of its existence


not one thing

not one thing
can block the way to my Father

hold not one thing
or
you give my joy
second position,
gutter,
effect,
not cause

there is no thing, person, situation, image,
in this world
that holds
any
joy for you

only Father
can do that,
be that,
is

It illumines
everything you see

to the illumined mind
the world sparkles

"i" know nothing
because "i"
is an imagined viewpoint,
a fantasy of disconnection,
everything "it" sees one with its fantasy

what would friendship do?
here is where true marriage is

friends don't divorce,
a friend is a mender of fences
being always consistent,
honest,
pure,
devoted,
supportive,
sees through
the mosquito bites,

the mistakes
are always given a chance
to come back down
proportionate to the whole,
not all of it

friends watch
the parade of life,
time can lapse,
distance in space seem to picture,

yet one heart
remains

one heart
re-mains

gratitude

not one thing
can block the way
to Father

Wednesday, April 4, 2012

natural

a smile

the world,
the universe
of
a
smile

all it entails,
lifting the corners of "lips"
cheeks,
eyes,
eyebrows,
forehead,
all of body lightens,
blood pressure shifts,
warm,
full,
with you
and me
loving loving loving
no future
no past...

from where
does this happening
come?

origin?

that lights the face
of every face

lights the way,

a "smile",
we say the word
and never stop,
to take in
this grace,
this glory

the most natural act

millions of times a day,
wholly void of effort,
effort and joy being opposites,
and without overlap of any kind

what great news this is,
in spite of all evidence to the contrary,
happiness lives

laughter simply lives

when something is funny,
it just is

we don't have to prove it
or argue about it
or research it
or decide anything

it just is

and nothing can stop the smile
no thing
no one
no power in the universe
can stop
us
from breaking
into
a big
huge
grin

from breaking
into
laughter

breaking up

falling over

rolling on the floor

in total
uncontrollable

joy!



Sunday, April 1, 2012

one pinstripe at a time

without judgement
on the pinstripe,
on Harvard,
or Yale,
or the high school drop out,
or heroine addict...

without judgement,
on this picture

without history,
data, based on others,
hearsay
of frightened judging minds...

wouldn't you see a kindred soul?
one who loves something,
who walks,
drinks orange juice,
goes to the bathroom,
just like you,
wants to be happy
and thinks he has an idea of what that might be,
and is doing the best that he can...
given what he believes?

wouldn't you have compassion
for this version of you?
this operating system with a virus,
a default setting
of "not good enough"...

wouldn't you just like
to follow him home one night
and give him surprise love notes
under his pillow,
on the mirror in the bathroom,
on his milk in the refrigerator...?

wouldn't you love to
float into his ear
and hear
when he has the thought
"i'm not good enough"...?

and wouldn't you love to
just gather that thought all
up in your arms--
roll it up in the soiled sheets,
carry it downstairs
in the laundry basket
and leave him
this sparkling space of clarity...
that is lighter than anything
he has ever experienced...?

where he clearly hears guidance
and feels supported,
and simply can't
locate any more reasons
why not to love...?

so
this is
yours to give,
in this very physical world
any time you feel
"i'm not good enough"...

love,
so dear, so real, so unaffected,
truly
hovers
in every moment
to land you,
and ground you,
and bring you back
to
Reality

one pinstripe
at
a
time...



So what?

so what?
if it took nine months?

who made you timekeeper in this play?

isn't that how you rob yourself of love?

give yourself a deadline to make--
a cross to bear,
five minutes late,
and off with your head

taking "too long"--says who?

it's all a claim of
not here now

"should have been done yesterday",
who says it wasn't
done in your mind
before you even began?

completion

now i lay a clock on it
and try to push and pull
and fit that one and a half hour job
into the
half hour box
and i just can't seem to do it!!!

so i conclude
brilliantly
"i suck"

what muck!
what senseless insanity is this?

one and a half hours
does not fit into
a half an hour box.

rest, angel,
there is no need.

who put you up to this task?
of twisting the left arm off your
doll so she can fit in the box
you found in the alley?

the monster
wants only to divide, separate,
and box up,
to keep control,
order,
that has no life!
no breath!

who can breathe
when quartered,
sorted,
and packed up to
fit the monster's agenda?

tick, tick, tick, tick

i know...
i know...
i know....
i know...

so what?
if it takes
nine years!!!

who made you
timekeeper
in this play?



How arrogant to be small!

How arrogant
all the reasons,
seasoning,
spices,
flavors,
perks,

the reasons
not
to love...

you do not know
the capabilities that lie in you,
that ARE you

it's what you are
you do not know

do you see
you
gave birth to a baby?!!!

a baby!

see,
go back to that moment
you first laid eyes,
first held in your arms
that infant
that came to life
within you
as you slept,
wrote,
washed the dishes,
actually did nothing consciously...

do you see
you didn't DO IT?

it was done
as you

through no effort
of your own
and possibly in spite of your effort not to
give birth,
it came anyway,
life
as you

if this is reality/truth,
why is it you tell yourself
you can't make a phone call,
can't do the dishes right now,
can't get it done,
can't do all you desire,
can't give all you are to the world
in this moment?

oh dear dear dear child,

sit down,
it is not so

you simply are the star
you see
shining in the night
that sends its light
trillions of miles away

and you can not know
where it lands
and how
it lights the world
for all the Universe to see

you cannot see how
the child
you carried
lights the lives, the minds,
brings laughter
to all the rings of faces
and hearts,
her tree touches,
and how those
touch those and those and those...

you cannot see

how arrogant all the reasons why not...
to love


re-side

Our Father
Who art heavenly,
having all,
love,
every ant
every speck of dirt
upon my clean white shirt
is
God

everything
drops of God,
manna,
having,
haven,
safety

you simply must de-cide,
re-side,
agree
that the Son has risen!

claim no more
it is dark outside,
nor inside,
when the Son is clearly shining
as bright as can
be

isn't that kind of a one-sided position?

"darkness"
for goodness sakes,
forgiveness's sake,
how can you see at all
if there is no light ?

yes,
pause,
slow down,
breathe,
ready?

how can you see
at all
if there is no light,
no love,
in this situation?

and watch
it fall

if love,
if light,
is there at all
then
let
it be

look at it
look directly at the light
you failed to see
while claiming darkness
with all your might
and denying
this Pearl
of wisdom,
sitting so clearly
so beautifully
right in the center,
between right
and wrong

Our Father
Who art heavenly,
having all love,
every ant,
every speck of dirt
on my clean white shirt
is,
must be,
God


About Me

My photo
I have been a student of A Course in Miracles since 1986. It has helped me tremendously to be a happier person by helping me change my perception of everything. I have found writing to be very helpful in the process of practicing, experiencing, and living the ideas in the Course. In 2006 I started sharing inspiration from the Course with a friend. Now it is a joy to share it with everyone. In 2009, The Work of Byron Katie found me at a woman's group. The Work is a way to identify and question your stressfuI beliefs. I dove right in and in April 2013 became a Certified Facilitator of The Work of Byron Katie. I work with people privately and offer online classes. Please visit www.joyofthework.com for more information. I also still occasionally lead the 11am Sunday Gathering at the Rocky Mountain Miracles Center in Denver. For more information http://www.miraclescenter.org/

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