give up

the only way
to make headway
is
to rest

just give up
100%
all "your" ideas
script
opinions
true or false
good or bad

totally give up

in every moment

"you" do not know

give up "knowing"

the past has not taught 
you one thing you would retain

"it" does it,
reaches over for a coffee cup,
tied to a mechanical chain,
like a bike going round,
conveyor belt moving cans,

thought moves hand,
so quickly it seems
movement happens before thought,
confusing mind
that body is cause
and thought effect,
backwards

something watches it

fish swimming in the mind
so fast
so quickly turn
dart
here, gone

still

definitely swimming in schools!

"i need chapstick"
"i paint fish"
"i teach art"
"i read the Course"
"i write poetry"...
oh my oh my....

sparkling jewels
these flashy colorful fish
attract attention

glide in silently
effortlessly
unnoticed

ocean
ocean
of Mind

it isn't that the ocean world
is ever going to dry up
and go away
and leave the fish for dead

without "my" knowing
every single fish
is free
to swim
in every inch of ocean
without fear

no thought
can ever be perceived as
dangerous
without "my" knowing

only gratitude,
amazing beauty,
herein
 lies the peace
of God

behold he looked on everything
and it was very, very good

lesson of a pillow

pillows
slumps of comfort.
color,
slimping
slamping

resting comfortably
cushioning falls
holding
caressing
supporting
flexible
willing
service
waiting
available
still

very, very still

motionless



it seems

yet all
being breathed
lit
from within

its very substance
electric,
buzzing so fast
i can't see it

invisible light
hooking together
magnetic
action
continuous

same as "me"
atoms
electrons
carbon
space

family
sister
mother
grandest uncle

no separate roads at all
ever
not even time

collapsed

this carbon element
completely untraceable,
unprovable

all just a story

sweet sweet silent night

all
 just
a story,
child

lay your head
on My Pillow,
rest
rest
rest...

perfectly ok without her

There is no peace except the peace of God (L200acim)

There is no peace
in denial of your true Self,
lying,
blaming others
so you keep the truth
from you
of your own lie/attack
upon your self

there is no peace
without loving
you

no end of war
no cleaning up of the environment
no election results
outside of you
hold anything for you

your deepest fears
still remain
lurking
to strike
at the nearest opportunity

homing pigeon
homing pigeon
only one place
to land
to live freely
at rest

deep inside this
cavern

explore
the cobwebs,
what's hanging off the ceiling,
the torn wallpaper

come home
to this
forgotten attic
where all childhood memories
lay hidden
under years of dust
haunting
all your present loves

crack the door
the lock has held closed

the answer to every problem
you'll ever have
is here

all wisdom,
in dreams undone

the child's view,
reseen,
for what it is

and only Love
only Love
only Love
blazes through

so grateful
for vision
beyond a two-year-old

mama liked to dance
on friday nights

and i was ok
without her

i'm perfectly ok,
 have always been,
perfectly ok,
without anything

there is no peace
without this truth

isn't it about time the past is over?

one among them was not happy

and he said to him,
what ails thee, brother?

what place in your heart
is frozen in stone

ungiving
the water
to your lover,
to your world?

tell me,
what past event
have you frozen in time,
frozen in your mind,
and carry with you

that prevents you
from kissing
every face
you would embrace?

this hardening
that let's no softness
enter?

isn't it time
the past is over?

what effort
it must take
to string along that moment
each day of your life,
to replace every present
with it

to hold it
forward
and offer it
in place of a hand shake
to every "new" encounter

no wonder
your shoulders are tense

what a gargantuan task,
torture:

receive not
the glory before you

receive not
the dawn,
whatever the new day brings
you may not have it

hold only the night
in your mind
forever

what a spell!
we have agreed to

experience not
your Self
without the past

never be
without the past,
your god!

what a ball and chain!

do you see
how your basket
is never empty,
has no space
to receive?

only without the past
is it possible
to see
what is

look him in the eye

like a thread
unraveling
the whole dress

one false move/thought
and your whole world
falls apart

no safety anywhere
everyone suspect
a mirror of your suspicion

be still, young one,
and watch
the door

 see what
terrorist
you would welcome
without investigation
without inspection
without proof of credentials

there is no crime Love ever committed,
so no attack that is ever justified

watch
the dark visitor,
lift his veil,
look him in the eye
'til there is only one
of you

the Will of God
meets
strangers in the park,
no facade
that does not melt

behind the body,
One Mind

behind the mind,
One Heart

behind the Heart...

what differences
can come
from a single Source?

loco motive

heartsick
she wretched
made herself sick
drained all her energy

when her mind
lied to her,
believed something
impossible,
untrue,
against her nature

be cause
she mis understood,
mis interpreted,
mis perceived

this innocent boy

how can a baby
be "bad"?
guilty?

a child

both, children

mother no more grown up,
no more awake,
sound asleep to her guilt,
projection

believing her wants,
needs,
shoulds,
past pictures,
historical photos

of what a "happy (family)"
looks like,
a successful (mother),
a worthy person

defined mother
by having a son,
poor thing

and innocent, she,
a babe in swaddling clothes,
she,
lost in guilty thoughts,
looking for redemption
as a wonderful "mother"

and not finding it where it coud never be!

slammed!
face to the wall

crystal ball shattered!

her son dead

couldn't take it
the pressure cooker
of a mother
needing him to excel--
to redeem "her",
give her worth
she was denying
to herself

hopeless

life stopped.

finally.

she had to get off
that train
of thought

she,
too,
image,
must die

no more
crystal ball
to worship

only stillness

only stillness

only stillness

station empty

what am i
without
that train
of thought?

(dedicated to the dear innocent baby we all are...
traveling
to new worlds
where infants
have no stain,
no hindrance
at all
to Heaven Itself)

before you ask
I am there

death sentence

death sentence:
"i should be better..."

no, dear innocent child,
you shouldn't be
one eyelash different
than the loveliest of flowers
you are in this moment

only you
only now
only here
exactly the gift

take off that heavy noose
and see what is,
see your heart

so pure
perfect love
now and ever

pure gold
remains
no alchemy needed

just stop telling the lie
it's not there
and refusing to look
where it is

gazing at the totally imaginary planet 
of "better" than now
better than reality
better than God
better than what is

look in the mirror,
not at other,
name your gifts,
thank your Self,
fall in love

here is your true Love,
the One Friend
Partner
Lover
you can't live without

no other destination
can compete
can compare

nothing better
than you
in all the world

priceless

born free
to love
yourself

that's life

dictionary: Love

ode to the critic

let the rain fall

plowshares
on my head,
bruise  nose and cheeks,
scrape raw
elbows and knees

it is but love
racing at you

falling on your ears
from every mouth,
your own

innocent child,
uneducated one,
"i know more,
i want to help you"

every harsh word
from motherfathersisterbrother
friend, foe
teacher, student
foreigner, compatriot

every "self sabotaging" thought
within you,
Love

a gift, criticism

the part of the mind
that gives it
thinks,
really believes,
it is being helpful
kind
loving
beneficial to the receiver

even murder
is a form of criticism,
attack,
anger:
you are ignorant
idiot
evil
you must be stopped
for your own benefit
and mine

confused in means,
the heart behind it
identical

being only One

every harsh word:
please
wake up
i want to help you
if you do this, change this,
you will be safer,
happier
better off in some way

hear now,
the love,
only Love
in every single word
you can ever find
upon the face 
of this earth

a star

resting
on the hood
of God's car

i saw a star

it flagged me down

and asked me
if i
might give it
a ride

it needed me
it said
to meet with men
and enter in their meals
and conversations
and bedrooms

it needed me
to hold
it very gently

and let it
enter me
that
whatever i thought of

would be illumined
and glow
for all to see
in the dark...

wisest person on earth....

i will be still an instant
and go home.

in this moment
nothing need be different

the spatula
lays sideways
gleaming in the sun
in the dishrack

see what is
give thanks

nothing
 needs to be put away
it can sit there all day and all night
for 32 days and nights...

it is brilliant!
receive it!!!

it's literally a gift from God!
so are you, of course!

i damn nothing
no one should be one cell different, one word different, one kiss less or more...
no situation...
not one degree of sunshine
nor one drop of rain more or less

to wish 
for what is not,
to fantasize,
is to damn reality

to damn
the big picture,
the knower
beyond my little mind,
beyond "my" microscopic perspective.

the honey is flowing!!!

what a gift
this spatula
a sink
clean running water
plates
steaming oatmeal
electricity...

it would take far longer than a lifetime....
to put it all into words

all the love
behind the word
"cat"

is it really a "her"
and a "me"?

i feel not

this love in my chest
so much gratitude
fills me inside out
beyond my body yes
tableone
joyone
must-be-rug-me-one

where could a line be drawn,
me/love
does not flow through
dissolve?

love
being all borders too
just
to make it easy

this car stops going north
so this one can go west
 just for a moment
at this intersection

its all you

damn nothing

i don't need anything from it

just see what it is
in all its glory
beautiful
service is  nature/natural
humble
it doesn't try to...isn't supposed to
be anything else
or be better
or the best

it never works by itself...
what nonsense

its always an extension of the Hand of God/Love

it can't feel
see
think
decide
complain
hurt

it just waits
between jobs
resting
perfectly still

it's a spatula.
is it true?

who says?
before i believed what my mother believed
was it a spatula?

why not a
rake
shovel
spanker
paintbrush
drawing in the sand tool
a friend
my dolly, her name Macy...the name I gave her...
water splasher
mask
keep away toy
something to catch and throw
a marker for something with the "handle" stuck in the ground
a stencil
toy gun
stop sign
signaller
mirror
anything you can imagine...

so your partner (your enemy)...

what if you treated each person
in your life
as if
s/he were the wisest person in the world
Infinite Love
your savior
God

(remember this is your mirrror)

why wouldn't you want
to see this
and offer it
and receive this
of yourself?

Oh, Heaven!
what else 
could you really 
rather have
in this moment?

why not
try it?

what do i have to lose
except
that which i am imagining
now?

nothing need be different
be cause
it is
already the wisest expression of Love possible

wise wise wise
old
"spatula"...

so much beyond this
right here
in front
of our eyes

kitty and cowboy

kitty is a slow drinker,
tiny laps of milk,
cannot guzzle
bottle of whiskey
found in street

she would die

but cowboy
on the prairie
finds the fire
melts in his mouth
slides down
the pipe
to belly warm
motion turning
burners flying

the mouth
can fire
and dance
and smoke even!
maybe even stampede

kitten
comes and goes
as she will,
not one drop
more
'til it does


stampede into a funnel?

of one dropper
at a time....?

hmmm....

yes,
one drop on her tongue
can go a long long way

to savor
each miniscule
molecule
overflowing


pondering
pondering
pondering
is how

the light gets in...

body tells the truth

the body can't hold together
a mind
at war

this side pulls left,
right side of head and face
constricts in pain

repelling ideas
can't settle
together

blood pressure
rises
from effort
of trying to force
square into round

harder
harder
i believe it to be so!
it must be!!!
and it is not...

no matter how gargantuan
the pressure applied...
impossible

demands for time spent
in two places,
two spaces at once
cannot be

body cannot

straining to act out
impossible ideas,
it breaks down,
separate discs
tendons
knees
broken
no accidents ever

head stressed
to hold
impossible concoctions

like Love
gone sour

God
in a coffin

me
standing on top

sealing the fate of
the world
to lack
and strain
and fear
to come clean

body cannot
 contain this

pain will set us free

the moment
it reaches
an intolerable state

we will no longer
tolerate it...

drop all our scripts,
and just follow
the simple
 direction


joy
health
no conflict
one mind
one will

body follows
effortlessly...

no pain:

One

the tender hearted sloth

the tender hearted sloth

inebriates me

telling me all sorts

of stories

that can never be true

like a fool

i drink the wine

thinking it a delicious feast

from God

well, maybe it is,

said She, from behind the veil

maybe the sour taste in your mouth

is but the sign of immaturity,

still wanting to be fed

your mother's milk

the bottle on the table now

is very old,

the stories you drink

have made men blind

for years

thinking even their families

were against them

today

the bottle is empty

the tender hearted sloth

has nothing left in his bag

just wind

every song has been played

all there ever was...

was a circling of air

from beginning to end

just a circle

no matter how slow

or how fast,

you are held fast

to the circle,

always

on the road

Home....

Light side up

the reflection (in the mirror)
isn't you

the source is not the mirror

the mirror is innocent...
impossible a reflection can be guilty

or see!
or feel!
or taste!
or think!

you are light!(under standing...)
not,
the reflection in the mirror

light is free

infinite

think not
you are only a bean,
one beam,

it cannot be
a beam
has any existence at all
without all of it

only construed thinking,(very construed)
completely insane,
arrogance of ridiculous proportions,
would claim,
could pretend
to "believe"
it so

no one in their right mind
would but laugh

separation from "your brother",
from "a tree"...

only laughter is appropriate...

insanity blazing!

come on, really...?

your blood is different
your bones...
your sadness...
your joy...
your compassion...
your capacity for tenderness...
your terror
and indignation
and self righteousness...


your need for oxygen?
and breakfast?

your need
for  truth?!
integrity
and generosity?

your laughter?

no no no
sweet sweet innocent child,

you
are not
the mirror

you
are light

whole
one
forever and ever and ever
(bodies cannot divide truth)

no crumbs
have ever existed
in Reality

unlimited,
only Joy
planted her leaves
on this ground
and forever grows
and grows
and grows

your brother and you
are one plant
one breath
one be ing

i watch myself
everywhere i look

"driving a car"
"putting on shoes"

there are no
"my" feet,
nor "yours"

only God's
feet of Light

every step
a gift
of Love
love
love
love
love.....

Source

we are not here
to fix
the mirror,
only to remember
what we are...

Light

shining shining shining....

face

what would i be
without the thought
"i need a body"?

holiness
simply rests

in the mind

knowing rests

it has seen to the end and back

it just is

like daybreak
no chance (even in hell)
you can stop it

nor the earth from spinning
nor the beautiful sparkle in your eyes

isn't it amazing
you came with a face?!

what a landscape!

have you ever really taken a trip there,
explored
every cranny
every mode of expression?

the ride of an eyebrow?
so many subtleties,
endless combinations
with jaw
and flushing of cheeks

oh my my my

what else in the world can do such things?!

ok,
yes,
another door flies open!

for surely a carpet,
too,
has so many lights
in which to be seen

the key
is getting really
 really close

of course you  must
get down on your knees
or belly,
even better,

to see
the intricasies,
the wonders,
of creation
in a rug

right under your nose!
and you've never even
noticed
the twill
the twirl
the tworling
strands of color
interweavings,
no separate function
of even the tiniest of thread

all for the whole

every eyelash
every freckle
every pimple

"skinning my knees on God" (Hafiz)

my face
touching
the face of the Invisible

transparent mask

the heat within
unmasked
at last

fiery cheeks
glowing embers
of the Divine

amazing face
amazing grace

Beautiful, beautiful bud

Let
Defenselessness
 be

Open
 doorway

wholeness
no separation from outside to in

allow everything in
fear, avoid, shun, run
from no thing

it's all you,
your beliefs,
 to see

Hi Joy!
oh look at you!
my goodness,
see that martyr,
that pity party,
the unfairly treated,
the "unconscious"
(the "different" from you)

you crucify the baby!
this judgement on the bud

the bud
in the cradle
absolutely perfect
harmless
endlessly beautiful within

do you smirk at the fetus?
believing it should hurry up,
learn to read and walk....

no!
you behold but
the miracle
occurring 
now

miraculous:

i see you!
i laugh
music sings
heart experiences itself

a smile!
oh,
a smile!

raindrop

no bud
should ever
be blooming

that thought is rape,

a barren world,
the fantasy

you
and everything else that exists
is Heaven
now

only gratitude
tells me
i am seeing

truly open

allow everything in

turn no baby
away
from the inn

cresting! this wave

cresting!

 this wave

cresting!

 this wave

oh,

young fish,

glistening with the sweat

of dancing in the night

to the top of your lunging

and swayling

churluscious...

she rises

 off the wood panels

above

above

only  starlight

can make weightless

there is no flesh here now

not even one toenail

only fluttering chiffon

breezing 

skyward 

waves

your hand,

the

connection

to the

whole

universe

center

never 

letting

go

stability

of the

rock

and

rolling over,

Beethoven,

hovering

hovering

hovering

angels

dancing

the Oneness,

the twoness,

the trinity

of you

me

All

try angles

cresting the waves!

sprays in all directions

and never leaves

the Ocean

dancing with you,

spraying in all directions,

we never leave

The Heart!

grapefully

just listen, love,

turn off the radiotvrecordedmusic

the concert
playing now within
symphonic
harmony
percussion
drip droopple drapling
heart
grapefully

wine of strings

through

ever improvisation
this
moving on

oh oh oh
dearest

only this

listen

creation
ever
now

simply

witness

the most amazing
loveliness

you've never imagined

silly sounds...

terrifying questions
and quakers

do i really exist?
is there really  nothing else to do?
do i really have no choice?
am i really being thought?
do i really have no control,
can take no credit,
and nothing should be different than it is?

oh the sweet song
of surrender!

take my chain
i have carried
all these seeming years

a chain to the calendar,
and whips for my friends
and mates
to do as i instruct

take this delusion
from me
that i know the big picture,
that I understand my origin

and have the perspective
to orchestrate
happiness

take this lie
from me
that happiness
isn't
always
my nature
now

who needs control
when blessings
fountain
through you
without pause

the fullness
Spirit
ever
brilliancing
belighted
ripeness

terrrifying questions
and quakers

do not exist
in the fountain

only receiving
receiving
receiving

only silly sounds
heard now

who really wants
a choice
other than Joy?

losing is winning... is gliding...

lose your history
and gain an unnamed country,
a land of no them and no us,
a space without teaching
this means that
and that means this,
a land without learning,
 a land where argument is impossible

lose your experience
and gain someone else's

lose your knowing,
your certainty,
and be surprised
by grace

lose your need to be right
and someone else can be

lose your propriety of  God,
and someone else can be wise,
the most evolved, all knowing

lose your arrogance
and perhaps you can hear
the mouse
inside you

lose your way,
lose getting your way,
and all the effort
that goes with it

and watch

the glide

without resistance,
friction,
the need
to be right

glide
is

you're It

loss is impossible

freight train filled
the living room

big
powerful
loco motive

loss
re moved from reality
must
be filled 
with overflowing power

earth shaking

strength
gleaming
presence
God
arrival
here
now
always

loss
removed
from reality
means
ever
fullness

full bloom now....now.....now.....

raisin in the sun
re turned
to grape
juicy
bursting
ripe

life
open mind
shuts not
one minute
out

not one instant
deprived
of joy full ness

mama filled the room

filled it!
do you hear?

not one space,
not a crack
without Her

tight up against the wall
Love
presses in on you


no escape possible


pressurized
 Love

impressed
in service

you're It

no escape
ever

can angels really die?

breasting you,
the milk of God

resonant rainbows
delight in every
color

and every color
between the colors

the slightest shift
ever beautiful
ever still
radiance

can it be the slap of a hand
on your face
or heart
or back
is any different?

the slap of the news
upon your ears?

oh no! you shriek
oh yes! says God,
gifter of all that is

there is no mess in your mind
that will not be cleaned up

that you may know
the love you are
without delay,
without a moment's
hesitation

death
no more
no more
no more

do angels die?

tell me,
sweet love,
can angels really die?

say yes and there is no hope

yet angels remain
remain
remain
with you
ever to show you
the whole picture
of reality

stand still, young love,
the shining is

oh,
stand still

allow
one moment
to be totally open

a clearing
in your tangle
of beliefs

and see
you are free
now

death is a gift

the past is gone

this moment
gone,
dead,
never to come again...

(we all died in that Aurora movie theater)

always
born again in this moment

gone....

death
is a gift

ideas
laid to rest

we hold a funeral for that which never was  (where's the proof two minutes ago ever existed?)

death

no needs
no wants
no shoulds

rest
these people
their souls
who no more wander
seeking
pearls and pieces
to complete themselves

death
the end of the search
that is not there

no wholeness
ever left

no piece
no peace
of God
ever went missing

in death
i but lay down my torch
my claim
that this is so

that anything at all
need to be different

i accept
i embrace
every speck as it is
in this moment


the end of "my" life
that needs
everything
to be very specifically
a certain way...
to control and orchestrate every detail of existence


and who and what divine being gave "me" that supreme vision and dominion?


Lord, Lord, Lord that is far too big a job for me...the ants and the grasshoppers...what was i thinking?!

Happiness is
the death
of "me"

and so it is

death is
a gift


"until you experience death as a gift,
your work is not done....you're either believing these childish stories
or you're questioning them--there's no other choice." Byron Katie