break the news

i watch the Father
sway
in the mirror

oh the swaying
around
it seems

the trickle of water
it seems
from here
to there

the leaf
in the breeze

and we think
it actually gives us something,
gives us more,
this seeming
changing position

i am more
on this box,
less on the sofa,
more in this town,
more on this mountain top

checkers,
amusing

and the most brilliant "minds on earth"
study this intensely

very special equipment
to see
if the invisible
electron
is here
or there

papers written,
awards,
careers,

and what about
the attention
to stillness?

how brilliant,
reality,
that happiness
is forever located
in this very space
we seem to occupy

stillness,
not one
anything
away from this
moment,
this location
ever

prenatal,
before motion,
what is?

having lunch
with God

She's singing the fruit,
there is no sweeter fruit
than the end of shame

before shame,
pre natal,
pristine,
Christ

Joy is a renegade
in this world of shame

wouldn't you like to be the one
to break the news
to someone today
that they are innocent?

no one has ever moved
from God

don't you want to be the One?

stillness

welcome home!

Spirit doesn't know anything about this world/beliefs/denial/limits

no such thing
as "cranky" cars

only loveliness
support
appreciation
purr
of design

without my claws,
no scratches

without my grasping,
no loss

simply flow

"loss" is refusal to receive/see
this gift,
still hanging on
to the "gone"

let go

put your hands in your pockets

stop arranging!
the daisies have their own order,
you are not in charge,
the knower,
the owner

the universe
is not your business

did you plant all those blades of grass?!
all the trees?
not to mention...

the skyscrapers,
and
planes
and on and on and on...

yes, you get the point

it's all given you
without one tiny effort
of your own

don't start now!


simply
receive

that's your job

be a success
at receiving...

Eden

welcome home, Love

unwrecked

 Salvation is my only function here. (acim L99)

salvaging
 what i abandoned,
the wreckage,
the buried treasure
remains

gold doesn't rust

love doesn't age
nor change
nor despair
at all
at your treatment of it

left for dead
you walked your own way
to the shining city
you imagined
 in the distance

weary now
nothing to to
but
sit still

not one more footstep on your own

i was mistaken
is as far as you can go...

and the return
to sanity

so simple,
the correction
of  the error

no thousands of footsteps to retrace,
no miles to trek

just the simple realization,
i was mistaken

and all bodies rise before your eyes,
all hurts undone,
all stolen moments returned
to Love

the treasure
once again
 valued
for what it is

the fish are swimming...

what is wisdom,
but the end
of wishdom?

wanting a fantasy,
oh dear,
in the midst of Eden!

in the midst of Eden,
"i" happens,
the moment "it" sees a weed,
believes something is out of place,
that's what "i" is

The story of creation is not in the past! Leaving the garden...leaving God to wander...is now
or never!

"i know"
"i declare"/decree!
there is something outside of love!

my wish 
is my reality

"I" more powerful,
more desired,
than God,
what is

without "me", "wishing" dreaming up...

the fallow
burgeons forth
endlessly

wisdom
sees

it happen

just watches

ideas come

life
life
life
life

on a ride,
carried,

this thought
carries me
to the refrigerator,
the lake,
the couch

"i" am not autonomous

puppet of mind

who do "i" really think I am
putting a name on me, separating me out from all that is....my nature

pretending
"i" have ideas

the fish are swimming


you are a thought of God


notice
the wisdom
available

gratitude is the sign
of wisdom

ingratitude
is the sign
of wishdom...

lay fallow, dear wanderer

lay fallow, dear wanderer,
producer of great things,

the field of resting

allowing
rain
to renew

nothing to produce,
nothing
to show,
nothing to boast about,
to save
your self image

simply nature
perfectly living,
earthworms fertilizing,
enriching,
nothing else to do,
rain brings  minerals,
perfect environment
for all the unseen
life
activating

continuous motion
unseen

we call it earth
and there's no such thing

it's a million microorganisms,
minerals,
vegetation,
seeds,
bones,
poop,
rocks,
clay,
seashells...
water
and  even those
are not
what they seem...

space

thought

laying fallow

nothing to produce

God is

nothing is
as it seems

allow f-allow
to
open
its gifts
before your eyes
right in your very hands!

computer made of oil from deep underground bedrock minerals to write to you now !!!! holy cow!  very holy cow!

every infinitesimal
speck
of life

no cell
of yourself
unreceived

stop doing...
and
notice

the fallow field

so rich
with life

walking on water

Lesson 98 I will accept my part in God's plan for salvation. (acim)

i accept/receive
the life
you would have me have

your Will

zero self righteousness,
walking on the water
of humility,
no where to sink...
when you put yourself no higher
nor lower than your brother

justice of infinite joy
for all,
this water,
this path,
this ground
holds me,
supports every step

buoyant joy,
no ground for failing
where joy is behind
every move

of Love
of Life
for you

to illumine every thought

do you see it on the tree?

every single thought lit up
from the inside,
from Source,
Truth

amazing scenery,
mind,
illumined

no place
to "fall",
to go

mirrors
everywhere
all i can see
all i can see
all that is possible to see
is
"me"

Will of Loveliness
beauty
fruit
plum
ripetitudinous...
juicy
quenching

notice
notice
notice
the nectar
the fragrance

all there is to do
is
to feel

the gratitude

moving
out of gratitude
is
service

walking on water,
upheld
by purpose,

sinking feeling
not possible

notice
is
to
receive

what is right here
right now

i accept this part
in Love's plan
for experiencing
 safety

square ponderingh

solid earth

square ponderingh

edges hard

corners sharp

that puncturate

my sentence

of life

living,

the breeze,

blowing through me,

as breath?

blown

through "me",

edifice...

of what?

edificing,

efficating,

deficating...

syllables that tell

of another

another One

bullshit

square ponderingh

turned soft

dissolving

into

solid earth...

is it?

entomologist...

star gazer,
bug gazer,
entomologist

they creep and crawl
along the ground,
like a mosquito
on my back
i don't see

until the bite is done,
chemical injected,
i feel the itch,
something has bitten me

thought gazer
watches
with magnifying lens

to see the small
tiny
infiltration
of
sting

watches
poison slowly
expand
into bloodstream,
 move to
arms and legs,
facial muscles,
fractional shifts
to denigrate life

the gazer
sees the cause,
is not
brought to fear
by the "unexplainable"

a simple bite
occurred,
a cause,
an effect

so in thought
i bite the bait,
i sink

i watch the bait,
dancing,
tantalizing,

but without my bite,
freedom remains

the whole ocean,
the whole river,
all availed

kingdom
of play

knocking

have you seen all the people
from the "past"
pouring through
the window?

this one can't quite
fit...
my mind is shut too tight

there's some familiarity
about his pants,
his panting,
shrill voice,
oh yes,
oh yes,

the familiarity
is mine

identical vocal chords,
umbilical cord,
thunderous rainstorms
we are
we are
we are

the clouds shifting
makes no difference at all,
cumulus now,
 cirrus next moment

is that proof
we are not water?

is that proof
we aren't the same river
flowed
from unseen depths,
quarry,
and the invisible whirling
in "air"?

yes,
have you noticed
the man
at the window
with suspenders
and beard
and boots
and shovel
and sagging left eye,
scar from the war,
is you?

from civility
to revolution,
one "soldier"
marching
your beating beliefs
on your drum

now arriving
at the back door

you call him
stranger,
vagabond,
lost soul

is knocking
on your heart

it's time,
mama,
i want to come home...

cracked head

there's something about a cracked head

awake in the night

that let's some kind of electricity

trickle

spark

2 a.m. and the words are striking

stepping through mind

no paper to spill on to

they arrive and shuffle away in to the darkness

sleep follows

 words have danced me

worlds gleamed

somewhere

they continue

now

not to reach this electronic

theater

it seems

just

a dream

enjoyed

light

unasked for

She visits

She visits

She always visits

oh the candle

that is

this life

needs nothing

at all

no nothing at all

to gift Herself

so grateful

so blessed

so graced

Grace Herself

saddled up for the ride...to where?

image in ary
state
of twoness

mind blinding,
derivating "me"

mind calls the shots
of a window
shade

what is visible?

captivated
audience,
believer
of shutters

camera,
interval,
impression
fixed

impressed

new moment
born,
not seen

only old
imprint
imprint
imprint
feeling

hooded
hoodwinked
klansmen
we

oh wherefore art thou, Romeo?
we call
into the darkness
which isn't
which isn't
which isn't

let me
behold
my blindfold
today

allow my blindness
to be spoken
to me

here is my truest friend

that around its corners
i may peak

at the glory
of no judgment
anywhere

upon the face
of my Self

inversal

inversal

big bang!
reversed

imploding!

bring your sisters into your silence
here is the light they are dying to give you
no differences

as your finger points up and outward to the stars
so now
 it's
pointing
 into you,


see it
pointing
 in to you
in-versal


in the absence of your fear
they will rush  in
to the vacuum

bring everyone into you
they all come home with me,
back in to Cause,
back in to pre-cause,
pre-sneeze

imploding
to the irresistible
harmless state

black hole
where somethingness/separateness...
the endless hunger of attachment,
of needy
has no existence

just Sanity
no little gift,
a space of no fear,
empty of craving,
empty of  denial of  endless joy,
empty of  more or less... measuring,  comparing

black hole
bared soul
no entrapment
no snag
of costume
and stances

irresistibly
creamy flow

free to be One with you now

now
not in the future do you hear me now

imploding
 you live in me
as you always have


big bang but a skewed perception:
little bang,
no bang at all,
child's view: triumphant heard at tri-elephant...funny...


black hole,
i am not joy,
what a tiny little bang that would be...
from all that is,
to joyschultz, born 1956,,,,died 20--

black hole
imploding
endlessly

not even air to
resist or push against
or require require require require ...


calm water
She sang
and sang and sang and sang
and never missed one note,
never dismissed one note

Resting place,
hymn of praise
to creation.
not of things!
but of Spirit!
Love
Endlessness
Generosity
Unspeakable,
yet unspoken,
no word capable
of conveying beyond itself

Spirit,
imploding
forever
endless depth
this direction

invite in
your friend
your "enemy"
to come in
with you

to come be in you
in complete harmlessness

here is where
your brother abides

we meet
without any thing

inversal
together
nothing else

new onces

no matter how many times
you think
you have washed the dishes...
this is the first
and only experience

no matter
how many times you think
you have looked at
a painting...
this is the first

i see a new blossom
today
in "my" collage

it's bright
and coming forward
out of
the picture plane

 it  comes toward me
 kisses
attracts my heart
lovely lips
of woman
here for you

wild dancer
waving yellow frills
when  eyes lay on you
i see no other
no other
no other

while i lay my eyes on you
i see no other

so
the whole story here...
do you see?

where i lay my eyes,
i see no other--
She
exists not
for me

until She does
again

as focus
relaxes

a blue miranda
slits and windows
of periwinkle and magenta
look back at me
softly
restful
oh, my...

i could hang
in this garden all day,
and open to nuance,
new onces

each shape
color
texture
position
relation to its brother

a story
of my heart
to me

five minutes of reality...

it's so easy
simple
nothing to do

it can't be valuable
no big office
no sign
no publicity
no time clock
no paycheck
no one else involved to pat you on the back or criticize you and feed or fight your image
no cost
no preparation
no resume
no planning
no committees
no agendas
no robert's rules of order
no board of directors
no capital expenditures
no risk assessment
no research
no google
no internet
no email
no marketing

so simple
the ego says you need a big party
fiasco
drama
bruhaha
collective something
fine print
to clarify every possibility
micro management
accountability
something to do!!!

no need to sell,  convince, or get support
no need to figure out how or where
to get support
no need to lie, swindle,  doubt and project the future....charts....

just
 sit
silently

listen

receive

that's it

you don't do anything at all

just receive


love
truth


yes, breathe (it's quite different...)
what are you...
without effort?


do "you"
exist...
without effort?


or is your whole identity
based on "you"
do ing
proving
to you
and the world
what you think
is true?


what if
you resign
from running
"your" life,
"your" committees
for five minutes
of reality
today?


what if "you"
don't know
anything
until you are listening


and then
you just receive it,
 opening  completely to it?


no hesitation
no resistance
no "you"


and allow
it to come 
through,
not by,
"you"


do nothing,
the most radical thought...


ego says its worthless--
is that true?

two by two

last night
i spent time
in the Heart
with my friend

i re-membered

two by two
we enter
the Heart

alone is impossible

there's no such thing
as "i",
that's why
i only feel whole
when i include
"you"

to exclude anyone
is scary
be cause
it's a lie.
there's no such thing
as "me"
(that's why
it's so scary
to keep trying to believe/prove
what isn't)

my friend
is my life,
without her
there is only a lie,
some crazy idea
of "i"

to see the One,
identical to me,
shared identity
is 
to re member


Eternity,
no stopping
no starting,
ever

re membering
is all there is
to do

all fear
is simply
for getting--
be cause
you left your friend
outside your Self

what is that?

what is that?

do you see

how the mind "empties" itself

tells you it's empty and it's not empty at all

it tells you there's a door

where there isn't one

it tells you

you should get an email

and it clearly isn't

it tells you to bang on the keys

and make it happen

just hang hang hang

one more moment

it's got to come

and what is this

craze

of insistence

on what isn't?

and it pours itself into it,

firing and bringing up data upon data upon data

bringing in reinforcements

all for naught!

what crazed mind

to fixate

on what isn't

to focus

perseverate

on the absentee

dear

owner,

relax your gaze,

your fist,

the counterfeit

the cock that crows

is not a cock at all,

not even sound,

just a wish

for something

to fill the gap

that isn't...

new story

(inspired by contemplation of "my mom was hurt." is it true?)

She was a wide-eyed pussycat
who liked to be stroked
and when something hit her
she liked to mope,
to scowl and scream
and meow
'til you knew,
what you threw at her
didn't feel very cute.

"don't treat me like that!
i don't like it, you hear!
i want you to stroke me
and be kind and dear!"

i've got all these feelings
pent up inside
and now that you mention it
it's time for a ride

the buckets are pouring,
my blood boils up,
my face turns pink
and the volume jumps

it's all very natural
when i don't love myself
to get kind of crazy
and feel small
as an elf

but i'm really quite healthy,
deep down inside,
don't think for a moment
my furnace ain't working,
i'm stoking and standing
and the steam's quite bazerking

all power inside me
is making this dream,
giving it meaning,
whatever it seems

and you, little child,
over there by the wall,
there's nothing about you
that will ever be small

the movie you're watching
is of your own making.
and when you grow older
you'll see there's no mis-taking

you'll see
i was nothing
at all--
no, quite meek...

all that pain that you gave me
was a thought that came to your mind
and if you can see that,
it's quite an amazing find

it shows you you've grown,
and you're ready for review,
to see what you made up,
and to find now
something new

there's nothing you've ever experienced at all
that wasn't an image
that you gave a life,
you sang their  song
and you played their fife

today the puppets are still
 i don't breathe them with power
i let them be puppets
and try not to confuse me and  them and then feel sour

by grasping and dressing them
in my chosen garments
and putting feelings in their hearts
where there's nothing that can feel

just a mirror of my own mind,
a clear pane of glass,
every single one
and i thought
it was an ass!

this is how
the story is undone
i see what i saw
and i see it was
none

now
mama
sits rocking
in the cool night air
the breeze is gentle
and  now she's aware

 there's still creatures that scurry
and crawl and buzz
and call to her to pet them
 and appreciate their fuzz,

now she's no more tired
and frazzled and wired

she's so very grateful
all her children have come home
there's no one outside her,
outside of her fun

in the still of the evening
she's showered by stars
shooting and playing
and dancing scarves

all locks have fallen open,
no one is chained
anymore,

just releasing you
re-leasing you

is how i am free

is how
i
am free


free
falling

... last story

my mom was not hurt


ever


amen

turn toward her

turn toward,
into,
the place,
the sensation,
where
the pain
is greatest

this
is the door

the parting of the ways
that seem
to con flict
op pose

in this very
meeting place
of sword and flesh,

is only
where the taking away of the sword
can
occur

how simple
to see
nothing will ever
cure
the pain of a knife
stuck in your back,


it must
be touched,

held
firmly
with all your will

a knife
of itself
does nothing at all
ever

not possible

only you 
put it here
or there
and tell yourself
it is death
or
it is life

'til this moment
i lived this lesson:

avoid conflict

and I see now
 it is but
the one requirement
necessary

to keep it

avoid
turn away
run
hide
pretend
lie
compensate
anethesize
distract

but do not
stick your head in the door,
unless you want hell...

the cards are tumbling
tumbling
tumbling

for here lives
the Queen,
the Ace,
the King
of Peace

touch
listen
to the call
of the wild, mad screamer

she just wants to be heard!
touch her

listen with everything you've got,
full attention
until she rests,
peacefully
in your arms

turn toward her

watch the noose
fall free
to the ground

the dance begins
when you lightly
stroke her cheek,

look her in the eye
and
really
listen

i miss "you", i think, but it's me that i want...

i miss "you"
i think,
but it's me
that i want

and i'm here
every moment
whether i want to be
or not

there's no place i can go
where i
am not there

what was i thinking
in the old nightmare?

there's not one single instant
i am ever alone
with or without
my computer or phone

i don't need
a voice
on the other end of the line,
to ask and to answer
every question of mine

hello joy, how are you?
now just sit with that,
go in
and notice
every creak and/or crack

just what is occurring?
and bring your mind back

where was i going
when i thought i needed "you"?
just sit very still...
what's inside you?

the birds and the air
and each breath of mine,
don't throw me away
like an old valentine

there's someone who loves you
and will never leave Home,
Her Name is the same
as my very Own

this Wise One,
who's lived all her days here with me,
beside the bitter,
beside the  sweet,
besides my son's grave,
beside the murk,
 beside the "loss",
this wise one
came free,
in the same very instant
that took place my birth


this Self that has traveled
each crack in the road,
is the Friend i can't part with,
can't be bought or sold

She knows me like no one,
i love you she calls,
there's no place she won't catch me
and cushion my falls

i love this dear Is-dom,
and lover
of life,
Why oh why,
would i reach for another?
this Self that i am
isn't hidden in my brother

She's here right now
and i am so glad i'm learning
i don't need to experience life with endless yearning

next time i feel lonely
and think i need "you"
i'll remember in truth,
there's no where else i need go

opening...

mind doesn't need anything

it plays
out of joy

it imagines
out of joy

if i think
i need anything
i am insane
and believe i am a body, not mind
 a cause with a real effect, that can hurt and destroy

mind cannot be destroyed nor destroy...
in any way
shape
or form

loss is impossible

read this very very very slowly,

loss
is
not
possible

mind
cannot die,
nor be betrayed...

what you think
has no effect
on reality

ever


Joy is mine
Spirt am i
Laughter is,
sayeth the Lord

no one "else"
 can make
me laugh

laughter is 100% thought/internal

a joke is freedom
from the old
original
paradigm
of self,
way of seeing,

hilariously,
"you"
think "you" exist--
these beliefs you "hold"
are true


arrogance to the nth degree

"he should love me!"
"i" decree
in a big loud voice to all the world!
and wave my wand!

and...waalaaah!
he..."doesn't" :-) (according to my specifications....)

here is Thor
the God of War,
thunder and lightening:
"you" aren't living my lies!!! damn it!
my incorrect perception of my "self"
as needy of you

in its stead
truth is

i
love
you
exuding into the night air
with every breath,
every heartbeat,

it is Love that lives me

and i see now
you do love me
and
i don't need it

flower garden of ideaslove
blooming blooming blooming
just opening continually
like dandelions
nothing we can do 
to stop it


every lie, 
misperception,
a butterfly
so gentle
a flutter on my eyelids


awake
awake


there is nothing but mercy
to meet you
nothing but soft landings

nothing but endless endless endless
comfort
of the lap
the most loving eyes
wholly unbelieving in the existence of pain

mother mary comes to me
speaking words of wisdom
let it be
let it be

let it be
let
it
be


mind
doesn't need

any
thing

She is giver
of all
that is

simply
allow
Her to give Everything

Quiet
Allows
Infinity
to Joyously Joyously Joyously  Express...

have you noticed?

have you noticed
the beauty of the clouds
never diminishes,
the sparkling lake,
the most beautiful scenery you've ever encountered,
stars,
woman,
puppy,
smile,
twinkle,
the deepest your heart has ever been moved,
the most intimate moment,
never changes,
never leaves
even for an instant...

while you pout,
and ruminate,
and fantasize
someone betrayed you,
wronged you,
irritated you,
didn't act out your dictation?

do you see
how the lichen still grows,
the tropical fish are still technicolor,
the lilacs are heavy with sugar in your nose?

do you see
how amazing cars
still operate perfectly
to carry you
to the dance?

and millions of people all over the world
are working
while you are play
to offer gasoline to you
at your convenience?

amazing!
a pump on the corner,
coming all the way from Saudi Arabia
and i lift no finger,
but to put a few dollars
in the slot

trucks and planes and pipes and wells,
and endless cooperation and
paychecks exchanged and coordinated
all so i
can go
 to the dance
in this moment

oh oh oh
everything
going
so 
right!

while i imagine
a picture 
of what isn't


and cry

who would i be...

without the thought
"loss is possible"?