un-developing

i'm un-developing my tastes,
to include a taste
for all,
a taste of all,

every flavor, color, language, flag,
music,
tasteful and untasteful
conversation

i'm un-developing my taste,
lowering my standards,
to include the base
and inhumane parts of me,
the nightmare

the lacy discotheque
reaching out

for Love
is all she really wants,

people,
Love is all
everyone ever
wants

regardless of the form--
even the atomic bomb
is a call
for safety,
for peace

the sledgehammer,
saw,
knife,
all but say,
"help  me"
(see this differently)

Help!
Love, come
to my awareness

i am developing a taste
for all forms

we all just want to be
what we truly
already
Are

without a dollar

you are here
only
that the veil may fall

every experience has been
to show you
"it"
is not it

wrangle no more
with which wild horse to capture
and tame and claim
as you,
your very own existence

it cannot be

you are here
to drop the reins,

to be
carried,

to not know,

to receive
without working,

to be
without effort

isn't it time?

to see what happens
without a clock,
a ruler,
and a dollar?

never out of touch

you are never out of touch,
only thinking makes it so

what is
untouchable

cannot be
out of touch

only thinking can think it touches,
a thing and a thing

untouchable,
unknowable,
unfathomable,
cannot be
limited

rest now,
your weary feet

rest now,
upon this soft decaying log,
the springy moss,
the damp corky cushion

rest now,
from your attempt
to "know",

to limit
the unfathomable
to some earthly domain

such a tiny distance
between stars

would you really
throw it all away
for that...
to "know" something?

why would you prefer
a limit
over the limitless?

the past
over the unknown?

is the past really
your safety?

really?

how much peace
has "knowing"
really brought you?

this is bad;
this is good--
to throw away half the world!
is safety?!@

surely we can see
this is a joke!

"kill the enemy"
is not a cozy place

you are never
out of touch...

only thinking
makes it so

ousted

ousted
from the couch (potato)

did you really think
you could be satisfied
by watching tv?

thank God things broke!
the power you gave it
failed

no where left to turn,
there was only You

how else can a kitten
come Home?

eternal Source
within

the Power never fails

the light never dims,
electricity
or not

not hungry

the noticer
is never hungry

She is
Everything,

the grass and the seed.

which came first,
the chicken or the egg?

they came together--
not two, but one

me and you,
but one

the tale and the teller,
one

the mortal and the immortal,
one

no mortal womb
ever birthed herself

the noticer
is never hungry

yeah though the noticer
walks among images of death,
She fears no evil

a dying man and a newborn infant,
a body "coming"
or "going"
is simply that

there is no evil,
no gain,
no loss

the noticer,
forever present,
cannot be harmed

the noticer
wants nothing

She is never hungry

feeling

I don't ever want to experience this feeling again...
specifically,
a nervous wreck!

isn't it really a miracle to feel
at all?

what is "it"
exactly...

a vice
in my chest
(are you sure...
see the picture...
is that it?)

without a label
on "it"
(without injested poison)

such an innocent
non thing,
a passing non event,
becomes a criminal,
guilty of stealing
all your joy!

ransacking your house
of all your valuables,

every scrap
of safety
and security

trashed,
violated--

this hurricane,
tornado,
storm of all storms

(who is it exactly
who "can't go on this way"...
while it IS going on this way...)

without a label
can you even find
the beginning of a cloud,
the inside or outside,
any discrete
edge,
anything there
at all
that is not everywhere...

hydrogen,
oxygen

building blocks
of all that is

same as the sunshine
and sky
you thought
"the cloud"
to mask

the very same ingredients...
of Love

no line between,
no border
between "moments",
is there?
really...?

no border between
that image of cloud
and my mind

i am cloud.

and without label,
neither
of "us"
exist

no trash,
no con-struction,
con-coction,

no de-struction

isn't it really a miracle
to "feel"
at all?

what kind of world...

what kind of world
woud it really be
if "i" were in charge?

boring!
omg
"me" everywhere

stingy,
holding on tightly to money,
things,
people,
body

begrudging others their joy!
happiness,
desire,
will

ohhhhhhh... what a very
sad
sad world
that would be...
never doing what you want,
only what i want

what kind of hell is this
where i rule your life?

Heaven help me!

let me see that
another's joy,
heart's desire,
is a path of light,
a blazing light,
a north star,
a compass,
a literal key,
to my
own
freedom

let me support
every hair
that blows in the wind,

every detail in the fine legal print,
every typo,
every shift,
every cancellation,
every change of mind

there is no storm,
when i love the rain

in Love
there is
only Love

there is no voice
that is not the voice
of love

it's just air
passing over
reeds

vibrations,
dancing on strings,

a harmonica!

a whistle blower,
no thing hiding,
no thing unexpressed

without "me"
the air can simply flow
as it does,

the chimes
can sing...

how can i serve?
how can i serve?

how
can "i"
serve?
(without being in charge)

support

i am supported,
so supported.

never alone,
not possible to exist alone,
i and "my environment" are one,
one thing

life support,
biosphere,
ionosphere,
clouds
sky
air,

can you find one
person,
place
thing
that doesn't support you?

space--so supportive,
not empty

all of Arapahoe Community College
(where i've "taught art for 9 years")
every single person that works there,
security,
maintenance,
all past students,
the internet (where classes are listed and found and registered for...)

this paper,
trees...soil...a whole ecosystem,
trucks,
paper factory,
store,
oil wells...
just consider...
how long did it take to make that "oil"?

worthy,
of that,
of the entire universe,
the stars,
the burning heat
and light
of the sun,
the frozen glistening
snow of winter,
the geese flying in a "V",

worthy of gorillas and tigers,
lions, bears,
and rainforest,

of the quilt that is here
covering my toes,
its cozy warmth,
only by the hands and hearts
of a million unknown
supporters,
contributors,

in this
moment

boggling,
to the mind,
the support ROARING in

ALREADY here

endless
immeasurable
support

these eyes
see only
Love

coming to me
coming to me
coming to me

let this be a day of endless gratitude
for that is
all there is
cause for

just so

without the concept of "source",
no explanation

nothing
no thing

without a Source,
no past,
no future

"frahusela" arrives...
humor,

the egg shape speckles on the wall,
"light coming through the blinds" ha!

just so

bracelets,
jewels,
of light

beads,
of light,
dangling down the monitor

sloshing sounds,
not outside,
but inside;
there is no inside/outside

muffled "woman's voice",
the crackle of the pillow,
pen on paper

without the heavy clamp,
the law of binding meaning to it...

i'm NOT STUCK!
on it

there is no "it"

just because you have some crazy idea
what a "dog" is
or should be or do...

do you really think
for one instant
you have any power
to move even one
rain drop?

SO silly

so very, very silly
to make war
on the reflection in the mirror,

to try to divorce
your own reflection...

will never work

your shadow is a picture
of your relationship to light

and only disappears
in the light

when you smile at it,
just like
your reflection
in the mirro...
...

and
how can we possibly
not see the Light?!@

it's everywhere!!!

even at night,
it is only the light 
that enables us to see
anything

it's all me

it's 5:30am,
i've been up since 3

it's easy to see the dream
when every one else is not here,
asleep

the town,
the house
vacant,
silent,
still

just me
and the shower curtain...

i'm a person. is it true?

no,
(btw the dictionary defines a person
as a character in a story or a play :-)

no, i'm not a person.
i'm a whole world,

an entire world
view

every particle reflects,
every scratch on the "furniture",
every speck in my eye,
cat hair,
barf,
lipstick,
every letter,
every face,

every single post
on facebook
is
MINE!

for God's sake!
for Heaven's sake!

the sky,
the clouds,
the rainbow,
the storm,
the lovers,
Hollywood,
death row,
skid row,
the mortuary,
and the birth canal,

5am,
and 12 o'clock noon,

Muslim,
Jew,
Christian,
Buddhist,
atheist,
agnostic

all me

ALL me

is it mass confusion
or does every symbol
say the same thing?

you are Love,
thank you

or
you are fear,
lacking,
hopeless,
helpless,
flawed,

the airplane crash
is my fault
or
my gift

every moment
every  moment
every moment

the newscast,
the politician
is
my dream

what is it i see,
hold against you,
hold against me?

let me see
it clearly
in HD,
a twelve foot screen,
that i leave nothing out
of my Judge Your Neighbor Worksheet

that i leave nothing out
that i would not love,
once again
in my Self

that's what nights are for,
that's what days are for,

that's what it's all

for


amen.

so peaceful...

night
into day
into night
into day
into...

is one really less
than the "other"...

only if you
expect the sun
to be shining
at 3am

exciting

isn't it kind of exciting
that you don't know
anything?

absolutely no idea,

that anything can happen

that the parameters aren't set,
that everything is starting
now
or
not?

that you are not what you think,
that you are not stuck,
that you have no identity,

that there is no future
to worry about!@?

that you have no idea what's going on?
isn't that really a better
vantage point?

"i loose the world of all
i thought
it was." (acim)

specifically:
what if
you actually do not need
money
to survive
after all?!

what a joyous revelation!

what if no one ever really dies or leaves you?

what if every death/destruction
was but your very life, birth, freedom?

"yea, though i walk through
the valley of death..."
(eyes looking but downward,
where you cannot see
the sun)

yet it's light
makes visible
even the black soil
you walk upon
and it's heat
warms your back

how simple:

i do not have to see the Sun
to see its Effects

there is no place
they are not

The Christ
is risen
from the dead/thought

alchemy

perhaps you've thought
"you" are not enough

but it's really that
it's far too much

crap

a whole world,
pre-fabricated

i know
before it even occurs,

i know
before i even see it,

pile upon pile
upon pile
of lies

standing in it

time to take a look
with that magnifying glass

let's see if there is any
truth to it at after all,

and watch

as it transforms
into gold

safe or happy?

would you be safe or happy?

the world's safety would drown you,

cut off Spirit
from your very Life

it can't be so

every parachute must go,
your freedom is behind
each rope

yes, it is your very death
you desire

trembling,
shaking,
paralyzed with fear

of God.

the only thing to do
is look,
the child is asking
for the truth

cutting teeth
isn't always comforatble

breathe, Love,
breathe now

feel the warm,
dry bed

not one tear
can find a cause
in this moment

all those crazy people
in your head

have come
for your salvation

in over your head

forget safety,

who can find safety
in death?

you are in
over your head

far more,
far less,
completely absent
from your imagination,

inconceivable

far deeper than your head
will take you

look at every speck
of the log,
the liferaft
you but cling to

and see

there is no safety there

when you finally drown
in all your sorrow

the ocean
will recede

?

what loveliness
wouldn't just fold up
her legs and arms,
her table and chair,
her roof,
her sign
and be
a no thing?

would you really rather
be a table leg,
with an id card,
and proof of qualification,
known round the world
for your hardness,
stability,
strength,
and value?

would you really rather
hold up the table from 8-5,
be oak, pine, or cherry...
a cash cow?

or would you be
that out of which
the grass grows
magically
into trees
and leaves
and compost...

the holder
of the whole world,
the Universe,
in your hands,
your darling daughter?

no name

what loveliness
wouldn't dissolve into itself?

one nanosecond beyond
is death,
cold

blind to creation

no where

you can't be
washed away

no matter
how BIG
the flood

damage is a toy;
not damage is a toy,

of mind

when the tide ebbs,
the water recedes...

you are not the dry ground

either

where are you
to be found?

no where

no where

the smile

there are no raindrops
that can ever wet you

what movie
can really
break
your heart?

what claws on film
can pierce
your skin--
bleed you?

the smile
of one
who sees
this

is everything
i could ever
want

not money

i am not my money, no sir,
i am not my money,
that lays flat in a drawer,
a wallet,
a vault...
locked in a vault,

for heaven's sake,
who would want to be there,
to be that?

or handed to the taxman,

the plumber,

the drywaller...

no, i'm a live wire,
a hot potato,
that can't be held

alive with possibilities,
so very warm to the touch

heats up cold toes,
warms the frozen cries,
the frozen pipes
in the night

even melts the golden butter,
makes possible
the flow

and feeds,
yes, that feeds
all the hunger in the world

money does nothing at all,
made of thread and ink and metal,
it cannot even walk

it is i who am the fire,
it is i who am the source,
and i
that is
no thing
at all