not me

my thinking thinks

she's god

she knows

what things mean

how people should act

shouldn't behave

or else...

she knows

what will happen then

betrayal

is always followed by

punishment

she thinks

the old story

she tells

over and over and over

but

she is not

God

she is only a storyteller

the ancient

laws

cobwebs

a crystalized mind

stuck

in repetition

pattern

point A to B to C

and back to A

a trillion times

in one day

mindless

no decision ever made

just conditioning

bounce bounce bounce

walking down the street...

nothing new at all

until

a pause

what would happen if...

it weren't true?

that i'm not

what

i think

i am?

Sane

so the loveliness

the Sane

simply clears out the rest

nothing to undo now at all

the Sun simply sings

her great warmth

to you

oh oh oh hello

you

Big Yellow

Son of mine

the most beautiful mirror you are

the well of gratitude

runs so deep

reaching God

the strings

hum again

awoken

life returned

to its natural state

the heart KNOWS

oh the heart knows

the heart knows

no uncertainty

it is always

defenseless

with

everything...

without defenses

without defenses

your strength

her strenght

her clarity

her Sanity

is

me

oh Love

the celebration in my heart

continues

fresh

outpouring

opening anew

oh the buds on the twigs

are not so slow to open

they cannot wait

to share their loveliness

to be

all the color in the world

to wave in the wind

and reflect her pinkness

into the sky

to waft the scents

up and around

and down

and through

just one molecule

i offer

now

to you

everything

without fences!

without de-fenses

fenced off boundaries

of you

and me

other

i am all of it

i am tsunami

i am japan

i am ocean

i am breath

i am cat's vomit

as it comes out on to the floor

in the morning

after she eats me

as spider plant

oh warm sun

oh cold out space

antarctic

so still

frozen for millions of years

where can any place exist

but in my mind?

the tapestry

of colors shapes sizes

measurements

woven all into

ONE

defenseless

i see the connection

of every part

to me

strung together

the web

shot out

in an instant

of thougtht

defenseless

i see it as it is

my images

effects

of my choice:

ownership

or

dissociation

nothing else to see

Healing

there is a clearing

in your mind

where the fire

still burns

ever

burns

we see it through the trees

the broken branches

the decayed ancient growth

the hanging moss

beyond the squirrels' nests

and wise old owls

in the very heart of the forest

the gleam

is constant

your Face

the Face of God

is the sole light

there is

sit here

soak

in

the Healing

Nature

of

You...

tantrums are my hobby :-)

tantrums are my hobby

sadness is a tantrum...i didn't get "my" way

i own my little baby girl part

oh woe

is me

self indulgence

luxuriating

in self pity

look at your life, girl

you have so much free time

and abundance

to sit around

and play victim

in your mind

to replay the ancient

original movie

good guys

and bad...

is this what you would do

with all this "free" time?

you choose to mope?

gorgeous day

for a bike ride

dancing

painting

work

play

meeting people...

who would you be if you didn't want

to be a victim?

thank you for my death

the breadth of Heaven

spreads across

my chest

the heart of war

is mine

the seed of discrepancy

the crack in love

is

my

mistake

oh beautiful cloth

the threads

i tore

the rupture

shrinks

back to before

its image

before

its concept

my son

is mended

as i see

i made him up

for war

against

truth

life

love

thank you

for

my death