pickled heart

pickled heart

she put it in a jar

and watched as the brine

filled in every cranny

is that it?

really?

can it be

that

is anything, really?

where is the music now?

the vibrant heat,

the can't wait one more second bursting bursting bursting?

was it played

on this instrument?

who is the player?

who

is

the life

that made

this dead piece of flesh

electrify?

we are not flesh

mud

can't drive a car,

nor  make one

Life

what is it?

you cannot fool the heart

you hold so proud

your tomahawk

you have convinced yourself its true

the warrior

all feathered up

the drums a beat to fuel

yet wings are not opened here

only bound,

when feet are glued

to ground

you cannot fool the heart

at all

you cannot fool the heart

the grids in books accounting numbers

and days and years and hours

and pounds and stocks and bondings

so

in every inch

i cannot grow

i leap to climb out of this map

my wings to stretch and flare

to push off this ground,

leap from this nest

where only nestlings worry

there is a place

above this nest

that wings are given to carry

your tomahawk

is old

and weak

and too heavy for this flight

lay down

your coffin

in battle is

you feathers stolen from other birds

your own wings

are in your pocket

fly on

fly on

fly on!

guidance

she tells me what to do

i bind her hands
and tie her feet

she offers the simple direction,
the way
for this moment

go here
do this

and "i" give the reasons why not

i'll do it later
i don't feel like it
it might rain or be too hot later
i have something more important to do
(than support myself right now)

i can do it tomorrow
there's no hurry

i'd rather loaf

all the advice, all the guidance
in the world
does me no good
whatsoever
if i don't follow it
in this moment

that's all there is to it

one thing
now

no waiting for some big lightening bolt,
for some great feeling of love in my heart
i can tell everyone about...

it's the quiet voice,
the simplest instruction,

just notice
how often
you say no

that's the light
you are looking for

whose leading your life?

Universal Joy
or tiny needs me,

if you feel any guilt at all,
you can be sure you are listening to tininess

past and future
are channels of fantasy...

just
do
the
thing
in
front
of
you
now

child molester

i hold myself prisoner
underground
in a dark dungeon

this
little child
who in innocence
didn't know her words
meant something bad
to adults

and seeing their reaction
she was frightened
but did not have a clue
what to do
or not to do

confused
and tentative,
her laughter stifled

now she must
walk slowly,
at first sign
of another's discontent,

try something else,
this that the other
until a smile appears
again

and a moment of reprieve
is earned


dear little angel,
you cannot be deficient
in any way

your loveliness remains
behind
your guardedness

i slowly enter
this dungeon

where so long ago
i locked up
this babe

child molester
of my Self

innocence
buried
underground

behind a crime,
a sentence
with no foundation,

the light in the darkness
has never gone out

the star in the deepest mine
under all the rubble,
all the fear ever imagined,

innocence survives

survives

breathing
still

in perfect radiance

reality
reality
reality
baby girl
innocent flesh

Being
what she Is

tapping in

tapping in
aquifer
bedrock

water does
flow through rock...
sandstone is porous,
not solid
as it seems

tapping in

oh the love
that lives
the miracles
the joyous children
sliding down the hill
laughing in delight

the child
you never left

no stone
can hold you back

all ideas of blocking love
are porous

know this

whatever it is,
let it rest in your hand,
see for yourself
all the holes in the argument
against love,
truth,

against the basic goodness

of a tree/me

isn't it silly now?
really silly
you could find fault at all?

oh how nice and strong
the tree
chair
door
floor
firewood
toothpick
ladder
popsicle stick
fence post
futon....
and on and on and on...

the gifts
of every single thing
you look at!

it cannot be true
that what is there
is not there.

at least you can admit
you are not absolutely certain
you are right...

and that
is where
God smiles

and the water
drips through
the rock...

drip

drip

one
drip

at

a

time

barbed wire kiss

barbed wire kisses

yes,
fearlessness

is never barbed

she sees
what is

the blade,
not as a device
for separation,
for slicing and dicing
and chopping reality
on the block

but lo,
how could a blade,
a jagged wire,
be
a kiss of God,
bringing gentleness
to the very center of unrest,
rebellion, revolution
against
the dearest, tenderest
Divinity?

in stillness
it allows
the jagged to speak
to scream
to bleed
out
to tantrum
its' disguises:

i am hurt
i am bored
i am dead inside
i cannot bear this emptiness another moment!

in song,
blues,
it is expressed aLOUD!

it charges through the tunnel!
out of the guitar,
the throat,
up and out of my sickened chest

to hit!
the air,
yes,
ah, finally...
to be flushed out
into the spacious,
the endless spaciousness...

disperse
in the pounding pounding pounding
of the drum
thunder
lightening,

after the storm

radiance
once more
dew drops

yes, no lie,
and no romanticism,
the rainbow
appears of its own accord,

the natural oneness of light and tears

be not afraid
that barbs will harm

bring them
in their full expression
to the light

and feel
the kiss
of God/No Hiding


there is no jagged barb
that does not hold out for you
the most gentle kiss
of your very own heart

amen

kissing you

without the thought "i need..."

i am
a brilliant  frisky hibiscus
 for you

exactly
all the heart
that is larger than any dreamed up container

every touch here

an opening
delicious
reverence
scent wafting over shoulders around hips,
 scented eyes
melt all past ideas
soothe release the tensed flinched vessel
rest giving awakeness
comfort of no wrong possible
welcome
home into this "no one ever donnit"
the weedless garden,
where all "criminals" are but my laughter now...we joke at our past perceptions and prison cells now abandoned for best friends who've been  waiting all our life
just outside the door
for "me" to walk out  of denial

so tender hearted
velvet petals

 lay here
your words
your tears
your laughter
your truth

your beauty is my own,
my ears, but for my own
 heart to be spoken through you

your silence
in the corner
looking from afar,
mine too,

there is nothing you need do,
nothing else
to be done

this is it!

everything there ever is
here now, friend

no other instant
to celebrate!

can you feel the pink ruffles yellow pollen fuzzy bees buzzing honey exuberance in the breeze so gently
so gently
kissing you?