doorstep of her birth

resting

floating

on the still

clear

water

held

forever

in my birthplace

i can never leave

this stillness

born of stillness

it is my nature

my inheritance forever and always

this is my Home always

my growing up

my true acceptance of my real role

that i was born for

my name is Stillness

given

by God/Reality

i have finally come to see

my role in life

in the world

my purpose

my endless gift

the treasure i am:

stillness

the world over

finally she has returned to the doorstep

of her birth

and seen her future

as Herself

innocence

no change

ever

the pristine stillness...

only at you, God

i would not look ahead

nor behind

but only at you, God,

only at you

Joy of Being

sit still

to receive

how can you open a package

when you are on the run?

what is your goal:

some unknown fantastic destination

or the beautiful baby girl

in your hands

right now?

stop, please,

I love you

take this in

allow it to be true

for you

as you

show me how,

Love,

show me how

it takes a minute

to scratch through

the black crayon

on top of the colors underneath

remember always

you are worth it

pink

has never lost her luster

nor

have you

mousy advertising

no new ideas!

crazy little mouse

running frantically around

screaming

scared for his life: the tiny mad idea/thought

is not new...

just like advertising:

having nothing to offer...no new content;

only the ancient mistake

it's only tactic is to do

everything to get and keep your attention,

to convince you of its false claims

to shock you

louder

faster...more and more commercials per hour,

catchy...so it sticks in your mind (uses great music to help you remember and associate it with something good...

deceptive advertising

"cheaper"

unbelievable prices!...you bet they are unbelievable!

the cost is the unawareness of your life

your happiness

everything you truly value hidden from you

in exchange for this tiny idol/substitute/belief/fantasy/complete alienation

colorful

and funny

with the same old message:

you are not enough

you will never be enough

try this

try this

try this!

NOW!

do not delay!

hurry

hurry

hurry!

do not stop !!!!

to pause

and ask yourself if

this is what you really want

or if these claims hold any truth...

be not still

do not contemplate

take no time

to ask

just GO!

NOW!

LEAVE!

whatever you are doing

whoever you are

whereever you are

RUN away

as fast as you can

to the nearest store/outlet

and GET

a new cover/outfit/distraction

cover up

the emptiness

again

and

again

and

again

do everything you can

NOT

to look inside

run away from Home

forever

be you bankrupt!

the announcer within and without

advises over and over and over

today

we would see

this mousy/lousy plan

for what it is

and

pause

but an instant

rest

be

you/we already are

Heaven (have everything)

ahhhh....

topsy turvy

topsy turvy

which way is up?

tumbling around

under water

i am not sure where the light is

it comes at first in flashes

a peek into Eternity

a head above water!

oh

oh

oh

air to breathe!!!

all the time!

WOW!

who would have thought...

from underneath the sea...

that the whole sky existed!

enlightened to this

i can never return

to breathe

through gills

walking on solid ground

my feet

are no longer flippers

freedom is not

imprisonment

within a body

once you have flown

you will never walk

the same way again

loss is not possible

sacrifice

is not

love

the movie maker

holds all the parts

in his mind

and far more than all the parts

of this one movie

so the movie maker

is but one particle

in the mind of Love

one particular transmitter

to all the others

signals

awareness

light

shining

reflectors

we rest

in the mind of Love

and allow its messages

to be received

imbibed

and expired: breathed out

given away

shared with every breath we take

dear Friend

my weightlessness is yours!

have this with me!

feel this delight

this barenakedness: my hiddeness exposed

this freedom

from ancient constraints/believing

feel

my

joy

thankyou

thankyou

thankyou

for yourlight

yourhelp

ourjointwill

how easy this all is

when there is only one team

and the purpose is clearly seen

the perfect child

the perfect child:

autism

suicide

the perfect child

is not the heisman trophy winner

not straight A's

handsome

with girlfriends

and a resume

the perfect child

is not the stepford child

the success

the glory

the required smile

and popularity

i can claim

can bask in

as a result of my holy parenting

the perfect child/friend/spouse/mirror of all kinds

does wear

the crown of thorns

my thorns

the perfect child

in the perfect life

in this perfect city

and perfect family

shows me

perfectly

what beliefs i hold

and will not let go of

that pierce

and nauseate

and poison

my perception

the perfect child

shows me

the game plan

where to attend to

where the defense is

the blockers

the goal tenders

that keep love at bay

always waiting for

another day

another game

another performance

to see

if love

will ever show up

the perfect child

touches

every scrape

every bruise

shows me

where i am hurting

so i can own it

the perfect child

leaves no facet of me

hidden

no place left to hide

we finally must heal

there are no orphan thoughts

finally

growing up

i recognize

they all

are mine

and welcome them

back home....

the perfect child

takes me there...

and so it is

unstuff the turkey (me:-)

it's okay

to be unhappy

it's even help-full

to be unhappy

unhappy is how

we learn

what makes us happy

and what doesn't

oh oh oh

how stuffed i have been

to want everyone in my life to be happy all the time!

give everyone a break, Joy,

a thanksgiving break

today i finally realized

i'm grateful

for unhappiness

it's honest

it is real

it is true intimacy

when someone can tell you

or you can admit to yourself

how deeply unhappy you are

when you feel that way...

it is a true gift of trust...

i let down all my walls

in front of you

bare naked

i cry

and you

are there

feel no shame in anything less than

total happiness

we are

as we are

in this moment

and only honesty

will take us home

where we are free

to finally be

what we are...

re-lief...re-leaf

re-lieved

of guilt/mis-take

is

to be

re-lived

literally

to come alive

again

free

to shine

express

unblocked

undenied

unobliterated

unhidden by jilted feelings

the stone rolled away from the grave

the light

hitting every angle of rock

inside

the cave

the dead man

arises

lit

from within

this light

has never dulled

for a moment

this light

gave all life

this light

gently carried you

through all the misty mornings

and terrible thunder

in the night

this light

even held your hand

as you drove the knife

into your very own heart

inhaled the poison gas

that stopped your body's

breath

but never

for an instant

has this Love

not held you safely

in its everloving Arms

never for an instant

have you not been

what you are

never for an instant

has joy not been your sail

and your mast not

a cross of crucifixion,

but an upward spire

ever re-minding you

that you are not

of this world alone

and your eyes

are a gift

to behold

the newborn

innocence

right here

right now

in the very mud

in which you stand

see no one

nor any situation

as anything less

than the greatest

pearl of wisdom

you could ever receive

everything

is for

your greatest joy

in ever awakening

appreciation,

Joy