listen

feeling incompleteness

is one

and the same

with identifying with body/physical

true joy

is only possible

when we truly realize

the body is a picture

of a thought

that is not true

body/physical

is not

our identity

yes, Virginia!

there must be something bigger going on!

you are so right...

i loose the world

my self

my body

you

all my thinking

this war zone

from what "i" thought it was--

physical

limited

solid

fixed

causal

reality is streaming

flow

merging

all one

all fitting perfectly

no gaps

no contradictions

imagination

we perceive it in slow motion

byte

by

byte

so we can see it

and come home

focus on "our" little byte

blinds us to

the stream

this feels like pain

peace

to my mind

let all my thoughts be still

allow,

not force,

not command,

no efforting

and

they come

like little children

to their mats

and lay down

quietly

so innocently

the wild puppy

sleeps soundly

in front of the fire

warm, cozy,

so safe and content

her master

sitting close beside her/

deep

within

her

ever here

ever there

everywhere

MotherLove

Truth

be not fooled

by the flicker

on the tv screen

of course

there is something behind it

and

what's

behind that?

so...every thing we look upon

including the one looking out...

what's the source you are an expression of...?

behind

behind

behind

be still

and listen

eye-lusion

space

the void

black hole

where not one of your beliefs

has any

foundation

can find any

support

it falls flat

empty claims

unsubstantiated evidence

manufactured

doesn't hold up

to investigation

witnesses fall apart

when questioned

nothing to stand on

they truly

simply

fall

away

where "you" don't hold up

under the microscope

your cells

but a river

flowing

emerging and sloughing off

here today

and gone tomorrow

nothing

to hold on to

words, thoughts emerge

emerge

emerge

no such thing as a point in time

is the river ever still?

so "you"

are poured

forever

never into a cup

the cup itself

is liquid

do you see see see

the flow flow flow?

there is nothing

you can claim

even for a second

there is

no

solid

ground :-)

amen

i'm not there

i'm not there...enlightened

is it true?

no

the un-conscious

is the guiding force of your life

the un-concious

what i don't conciously think

is where enlightenment lives...

spirit

the invisible

unknowable

untouchable

the only reality there is

the changeless

behind

everything

it is but "your thoughts"

that hide it from your awareness of it

your memory of it

your realization

it is but "your thoughts"

that are the fence

the defense

the veil

think not

there is anything you can do

only this

see

what you are believing

and question it

these beliefs

are who you think you are

it's not true now

nor ever has been

your stories

are the lie

you cherish

in place

of the invisible

the real

the vacuum

where not one of your thoughts

is believed

nothing but a trash pile

recycling thought after thought after thought

like a hoarder

our mind

is clogged up

temporarily

each thought holds our attention

while all around us

is infinite space

is something/anything really better than nothing?

the breath

shows us...

hang on to nothing

in

out

in

out

to stop for a moment

brings discomfort

anything in the way

brings stress

there is nothing we want

more than

empty space

space

for

anything

what

are

you

believing/holding on to

in place

of space?

tears to clear

have you ever seen radiance cry?

only tears of joy

only a river of purity

gushing through

to clear out all the flotsam

in the most graceful way possible

see her glistening fingers

not miss

one detail

of impurity

of scum

remaining on the bank

see how she scours

every cranny

so no decay blocks

the reflection of light

back to her

oh such dear attention

to even the tiniest discomfort

who wouldn't cry

at such a love as this?

only Infinite Perfect Love

would be so kind

so thorough

so free of effort

resting for no moment

in this image of time

every tick on the clock

brings but another kiss

another kiss

another kiss

from the One Who

watches over us

without sleep,

the true,

the lovely,

the Infinite,

Mystery

deeper

i give my mind to clarity/sanity

without the thought "i need him"

i am the fire

the flame

my own life

flame is

warm heart

bread rising in the oven

levitating

can't stop yeast from rising

it's what it does

contracting, a silly thought

Heaven

is the expansion,

extension

of purity,

innocence,

wholly without resistance, friction, conflict

the lit mind

extends forever

can fire really know darkness?

ever be

dark?

that's a joke

so light,

is all there is

vision isn't blindness

home is never strange

no one is a stranger

because

you are Home

the deeper you go

the clearer you see

the clearer you see

there is no other,

nor any possibility of loss

look in

in

in

it's only when i focus "outside" me

do i miss home

my Self

Creator

Mother

Father

my Love

my Heart

i give my mind

to Clarity

amen

funny to imagine...

how funny to imagine

someone can travel far away

sail round the world

be

out of sight

out of mind

out of reach

out of touch

outside

me

i image

space

a symbol of separation

or

fresh air

flexibility

stillness

nonattachment

infinity

what does space mean?

what meaning do "i"

give it?

is it empty

or full?

room to dance and fly

or absence

of love

a lap

a kiss

a hug?

oh holy mind,

dreamer of all it sees,

how funny to imagine

anyone can sail away

from my Heart

all encompassing

of every thought

every symbol

every action

blessed

com-passion

i am for you

always

always

all ways

for you

and that's the truth

not imagination

giving and receiving,

all there is

mind calling

and responding

song,

mama

and

child...

hush little baby,

don't you cry,

mama's gonna sing you

a lullabye...

i thank me

i thank me

for all i gave myself

and

for letting him go

i thank me

for not teaching he is guilty,

for letting him of "scottfree"

i celebrate my new found freedom

from blame

lightness

lightness

lightness

arms rise of themselves

as if coming up from the depths of the sea

the pressure is gone

chest expands

honestly,

lungs have double capacity

for oxygen,

happy healthy blood cells restored

to "normal"

natural state of saturation

euphoria

relief

ah the blessed mary has watched over me

through all my resistance

sadness

pattern

ancient stuckness

dependency

she has held me fast

giving me what i tantrummed and fought against,

yet truly wanted

let him go

and you are free

clinging is insanity,

an affirmation i am lacking

it is not so

he goes

i bloom

he goes

i live again

he goes

i come home

he goes away

i come near and dear to me

i thank me now

for this long awaited rite of passage

wholeness of the flower

do you notice flowers don't hang out as couples?

they each offer all their beauty to everyone

violet, turquoise, pink, yellow, lime

glowing in the sunlight

what am i

but a rainbow?

the light of God

coming through me

appearing for a moment

after the rain

beauty

no future

no past

just

beauty

now...

it's time for me

to see it,

yes,

it's time for

me

to see

me

to thank

me

for

my

beauty

without the thought" I am alone"

who/what would i be

without the thought i am alone?

i notice my breathing

being

breathed

being done

it

reaches over and gets a sip of coffee

writes these words

adjusts the pillow under this notebook

a sip of water

the stream continues

slows

stillness

asks again

without the thought I am alone...

i extend out forever

i am a flower

my palms, the tulip petals

being

being

being

a smile blooms on my face

my lips turn upward

without a trace of strain

it would only be a strain to hold it back,

to resist it

to hide it and not let it shine

be expressed

reflected

manifested

i am reminded of the intimacy i share

with people even after long stretches of seeming time

i see it doesn't matter how often i talk to someone

or get together

i see its how i see them in my mind

when they do appear

without the thought i am alone

i am gratitude

for each face

each heart

i remember all the gifts

that live now

in me/as me

appreciation

i bless them

i am a blessing to the world,

upon the world

without the thought i am alone

free

pacified

curious

restful

softly waiting

like the pad on a cat's paw,

like the content cat

who sits so still

and has nothing to do

and nowhere to go

and is ready for anything,

ready to jump and play and chase

right now

i need no preparation

for the next moment

being totally at rest,

i am ready

for anything

i am a kid again

happily playing

totally absorbed

in my doll, or sand, or clay

or painting

or watching the goldfish

or petting the cat

in my own little world

making up all the rules of my make believe town

having fun

making up all the characters

and the funny words they say to each other.

('i want to get married and have a baby" , I wrote in my tiny notebook around the age of 8,

as the script of some adults i made up)

without the thought i am alone

i see the play going on everywhere all around me

i see i can jump in any time

or just watch

just watch

the show

give a hand when asked

and listen

hear

everybody's heart

see me in every word

i come home

to my brother

and sister

i see

the Oneness

i hear every word you say

coming directly from God/Love

to me

i see

the Love Song never stops

the sound of traffic

the steam of the boiling water

the silence of the cat on the window sill

the sunbeams bouncing off the paper

and spraying all over the room

my heart

my breath

the tv turned off

the giant kiss of words in my book

the music forever

giving

panting

pouncing

ga-sliding

leafing out

and falling crumpled to the floor

again

amen

i am

never

alone

thoughts are vines

a jungle is not a vacant lot

laughter will replace all pain

laughter will re-place all pain,

denial,

forgetting,

lies

i choose the joy of God instead of pain

laughter/freedom is my inheritance

in-here-nt

a joke always has a truth

and then a funny take on it,

a strange, surprising

delightful, innocent mishearing,

mis-seeing

mis-interpretation

mis-take

mis-understanding brings joy

reminds us nothing is serious

there is room/space

of lightheartedness,

indeed, that space is Life

like Art Linkletter's

kid's say the darndest things :-)

we can see ourselves

our child thoughts now

with love

perhaps, we think, a "reason" to have kids

is they keep us seeing things lightheartedly...

falling down they jump right up and laugh and go on

they pull us in

to play games

and lay on the grass and look up at the clouds

daydream

watch ants for hours

building hills

marvelling at their strength and cooperation

operating as one

and they/we

pick a dandelion

for our mom

as an expression of pure love

reminding us it's not what we do,

but the love we do it with

we're (child thoughts) not in the future--

looking for the end of the rainbow

nor thinking we shouldn't be afraid

we just are

we just express our feelings

screaming, crying, jealously hitting,

loving deeply

we make lots of mistake

as naturally as we breathe

it's how we learn

the only choice is

do we laugh

or cry?

why would you fill up your dad's shoes with water?

or cut up a chair with scissors?

or try to dig a hole to the earth

through the cement floor of your basement? :-)

i give everything all the meaning it has

it all makes perfect sense to the thinker.

where the literal thinking is brought to light,

we see the non-sense--

no common sense:

if i yell at you, you'll love me

if i attack you/throw a tantrum, you'll cooperate, respect my point of view, listen to me...

silly!

child!

the grown up

can

laugh...

mystery

mystery

before me

always

all ways

you do not know

you have no idea

no understanding

it cannot be revealed

unveiled

while you think you know

magical mystery tour

yes!

every moment a surprise!

with a forecast,

casting a spell forward

of the past

of the known

where can creation

freedom

life

be?

with the past thrown on top of it?

oh dear

dear

dear

girl

remember

the Mystery

the Great Mystery

of You

the depths unknown

unseen

where all things are perfectly blessed

perfect wholeness

is not even written about

because

nothing else ever was

conceived

a mystery

from where i stand

looking through fragmenting lenses

how would reality look

if i threw my past to the wind?

re-main

i remain

as God

created me

re main

haven't gone out

haven't branched out

haven't differentiated

in anyway, shape, form

main

re-One

re-union

branch re-turns

back

around

looks trunkward

knows

sees

the oneness

so looking inward

all

there is to

see

is

God

i see all the images (in mind)

are mine

of

One

image/me

come nigh

fearful image

terror in night

anxiety gone wild

come closer

the closer i get

right into it

i see i made it up

i see

my body sweats

and heart races

muscles tense as rocks

head aches

adrenaline rushes

from head to toe

i see

its all

switched on

by one little thought

and i see it's a magic show

i pull the opposite thought out of my hat

and

the sun rises!

the rainbow shimmers after the rain!

my body relaxes,

rests,

can finally sleep,

smiling

sweetly

with gratitude

for this heavenly state of mind

ownership

is freedom

ownership

is all power

in Heaven and in earth

One Power

Mind

Love

re- main

let me be gentle

I gently release him

back to the river

(catch and release :-)

river of life,

ever moving,

the movie,

and stillness

remains forever still

from here i watch

from here

from here

from here

i watch him go

nowhere

he cannot

walk

out of my mind

out of my heart

out of my life

i made him up

he cannot leave

his source

gratitude remains

for this amazing learning partner

we graduate now

and open a new chapter

with a new learning partner

a new class

just like in school

september

new friends and old

it's all review now

it's all old friends now

no one really new

the only companion is you

you

smiles back to you

from every face

there's nothing to fear

everyone you see is you

(we silently smile to ourselves

why are you pretending you don't know me?)

i am the ocean

body's eyes closed

i see the ocean

i am the ocean--

the image maker of

the beauty,

the sparkle

on the water,

the sun,

the waves crashing

gracefully

surging up

translucent green

i am the shops,

the sales clerk,

the fashion,

the sheer gauzy blouse in the window.

joy

play

abundant garden of mind

or

lack

"other"

jealous

comparison

what meaning do i give to the meaningless?

maker of my universe,

is this thing i see across the room

a body

or a candle,

my heart,

true love

of Love,

shared identity,

no separation,

no other instant

but this

completion

no other

when i see we are identical

Love

Identical

thank you

thank you

thank you

my heart beats

the ocean roars

the waves keep coming

coming

coming...

sailing

he's leaving...

what if I just get in my new boat

and enjoy the ride...

the new sights...

the forgiven world?

not clinging,

not replaying

the past

i'm in the new boat now

would i look

for a moment

without the past?

and receive the beauty,

the presence,

the awareness of Love

gushing to me?

hey,

nothing serious here,

let's try something new...

i think i'll get off that roller coaster

and see what stillness feels like

for a while...

a little balance

the Heart of God is impossible to break

How can you dry up an ocean?

come on, mind,

where Love created all

can it really be scarce?

it may appear a desert exists

where once an ocean was...

but, have you ever paused to wonder

where all that water has gone...?

that it's in you now,

in the very air you are breathing,

in the river that runs by your house

and pours out of the faucet?

that it's closer than you can see,

running through your veins

even while you sleep?

and can you make the water?

have you ever had anything to do with it?

and

can you really

destroy life?

think again

Life,

before you

after you

all around you

beating your heart

while you do nothing

notice

notice

notice

sailing

carried

by the wind

on the open sea

freedom

amen

a cat in my chest

he won't let me say what I want...

i realize

i

won't let me say what I want

and oh,

what a loving thing...

I see it's Love Who won't react,

Whose watching over me

I see I'm awake and listening

and I see attack will only breed more attack...

I see it's the ego

screaming

for it's life

there's a cat

inside my chest

yowling!

throwing itself at the window

when it perceives another cat/itself

outside--

a stranger, invader, thief

in it's territory

the power of a belief

in a frenzy

tail exploded

wild-eyed

frantic

i watch,

observe carefully,

what is that sensation?

like the smell of popcorn

in the movie theater

put there to convince us

we are hungry...

is it true?

a moment before we smelled it,

before we walked in the door,

where

was our mind?

the clear blue sky

blocked now

in the dark

of the theater

i see but through

the giant yellow eyes

on the screen...

kill

or be killed!

where is love now?

the fresh air remains

a step away

the warm sun,

the tender new shoots,`

live

now

choose...

would you die

killing your brother,

being right,

or

would you

be wrong about everything

and

see love

everywhere you look?

my child,

rest,

in the warmth

of my hearth,

the fire,

forever Home,

giving light

to see

the cat's eyes

can

see

clearly

even

in

the dark

there is

nothing

to fear

tender juicy flower

without the thought "i need..."

God is

with the thought "i need..."

God is denied.

what would create a needy, lacking creation

but lack itself?

and how can lack create

when it isn't enough itself?

creation is overflow

extension

abundance

lack is denial

of God

without the thought "i need..."

wholeness raises her beautiful head

her beautiful smile

lights up her whole face

and shines upon the whole world

lighting it up

with grace and laughter and joy

without the thought "i need..."

i see the juicy grass

the gardens springing up everywhere

no cement or asphalt

can hinder

the tiniest of flowers

from pushing up and through

and sharing its tenderness and beauty

with everyone

that's us

without the thought

"i need..."