without the ego

who or what would i be
without the thought the ego exists?

without the ego
I am you,
no need to be different, special

no need
to barb your heart,
to harpoon it
and bring it over here

demanding "LOOK at me!"
listen to me!
bubble for me!
dance for me!
beat for "ME"!

this flimsy image--
in your beholding make it strong,
supply the reality it isn't,
tell me it is real and valuable--what isn't

why oh why would God/Reality/your lover
"break your heart"?
but for this...
that the wall you now hold up
as your Self,
can fall at last,
crumble to the dust it is,
be seen for the nothing it is,
that you are blinded no more
to your Radiance,
your Eternal Invulnerability,
that you are no longer an addict,
a vampire,
feeding on your brothers and sisters,
children and infants,
sucking their every breath
for your own survival--
the survival
of the wall.

oh yes, dear One,
this breaking,
this breaking heart you curse God for,
you curse the world
for the war that stole your child,

it is but the greatest gift,
the highest gift,
the most loving gift,
the only gift
there is:

you
are not
and have never been
the thing
you think
you are

here is the home
of all your pain
and your greatest joy--

you are not
what you think

who or what would i be
without the thought
the ego exists?