responsibility

i stole something from me,

hid something from me

i hid my Joy

my truth

my true Self

my freedom to be me with wild abandon

to laugh at what is funny

to not take seriously what i think

i tried to steal my ability to laugh

PURE JOY

i inhibited my Self

by fear of disapproval

and abandonment

i turned against my own inner Joy

i left her

i did not support her,

value her

i pretended not to have her,

that she did not exist

i've been pretending that my wings are clipped

i've been pretending

to fit in

to be "normal"

to have "friends"

how funny and deathly ill is this at the same time

what kind of "friends" could these possibly be,

but fellow death walkers,

corpses

also in denial of true Joy

today we would be abnormal,

paranormal

by this world's standards

we would flaunt our Joy

hold it high above our head--

we would value it high above our thinking

we would love it

and give it all away

more and more and more and more and more...

we would feel the flow of Joy all day long....

we are responsible....

and we would not live under false pretenses anymore