mind doesn't want to run

Earlier today I wrote a piece called, mind wants to run, after noticing
my frustration while on repeated calls with comcast.
I did some work on the internet and while out running,
considered the statement, mind wants to run.
I found out the opposite is much truer.
This is also revisiting the idea that suicide is bad, fearful,
or that only some people have suicidal thoughts.

Mind doesn't want to run
(turn around of "mind wants to run")

She is tired of running.

She wills to open wider,
to understand,
to see

She wills but to dissolve into Love,
to rest in Love
and never leave Home again

She wills the end of pain
that accompanies her
on every step away from Home/Truth

She does will
the end of her "self"

It  hurts too much to lie,
to be separate,
to manipulate,
to fret,
to coerce,
to pretend

it hurts to attack your very self,
to attack anything

it hurts to not love what is

She has seen the pain and chaos
she brought to her dearest children,
friends and family

She wills to be strident no more,
to capitalize on other's weaknesses
no more

She realizes there is no joy
in this separate "life", story, image

but it is not life
she would end,
only misery, pain and suffering

and isn't this simply sanity and kindness
at Home in Itself

the suicidal wish
is simply
a call for peace--
what is
without the identity of separation,
a thing

mind wants to stop running,

time
to stand still

to simply dissolve
as a "separate entity"

Peace
Joy

All resistance dissolved