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The Healing Power of Writing

Hi! Welcome to the Joy of Miracles.

To write is to uncover, to unhide, to bring to light, and express what is within. To share is the end of all private thoughts, all shame, all guilt, all pain and separation. Here is all Joy found at last! Writing helps us to repeat, focus, choose, and remember ideas. The purpose of this writing is healing for all of us.

This blog is inspired by "A Course in Miracles"and The Work of Byron Katie. You are invited to share your comments by clicking on the word "comment" at the end of each post. If you scroll way down there's a little info about me and also an archive of past writing you can view by clicking on the title. Thanks so much for visiting...

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Friday, December 19, 2014

full circle

i killed the cat.
i did it.
and i am 100% innocent.

a gargantuan iceberg

fell into the sea

10 years in the waiting

10 years ago
my 17 year old son said to me,

"why don't you just kill the cat?"

terror arose
huge terror
mega sadness
"disappointment" can't begin to describe
the internal devastation

he's a psychopath
no feelings
no compassion
i hate him
i hate me
i have failed, truly failed
done wrong


deer in the headlights

frozen in terror

absolutely devastated

and deaf
and blind

add to it "why not just kill old people?"

my  mind REVOLTS...explodes in hallucinations...
i'm trulytripping!
this is impossible!
too horrible
to even go there...


nuclear guilt

i am destroyed...

any image of a loving mother
or loving son
is completely obliterated

reality obliterated:
'this cannot be happening"
things like this don't happen...

and today (ten years later)
i killed the cat.
yes. literally.
she was 20 years old,
peeing on the floor,
with a big lump in her gut,
two doses of antibiotics had been given...

and i decided it was time
for her to "die",
to be "put to sleep",
we say.

we give like death/killing
another a name.

and I see
the simplicity
the stillness
the kindness
the invitation to contemplate life, being,
this is all there is

and I see
Aaron's (my son's) absolute innocence.
A child asking a simple question.

I see I could not even hear the question,
I could not even consider the simple
profound, deep question that it was.

I could not see the invitation
to ask, to consider, to contemplate



I see I put ALL the destruction on him,
this innocent child,

I see now
as I drive away
from the vet
having witnessed
the administering of the iv,
her tongue hanging out of her mouth,
the drug in her eyes,
and finally the body without a heartbeat,
the gift of her life,
the silence and peace,
experience continuing

I see the devastation
was ALL mine.

I see nothing happened,
but a child asking a question
to his mother.

I love you, Aaron, with all my heart.
And I am sorry I looked at you with such terror
in my eyes and heart.

You are so innocent.
So completely innocent.
And I see, too, was an innocent child
believing my thoughts.
Having a nightmare.

Love to us all.
And thank you, kitty.
You never know
when an iceberg is going to fall.


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About Me

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I have been a student of A Course in Miracles since 1986. It has helped me tremendously to be a happier person by helping me change my perception of everything. I have found writing to be very helpful in the process of practicing, experiencing, and living the ideas in the Course. In 2006 I started sharing inspiration from the Course with a friend. Now it is a joy to share it with everyone. In 2009, The Work of Byron Katie found me at a woman's group. The Work is a way to identify and question your stressfuI beliefs. I dove right in and in April 2013 became a Certified Facilitator of The Work of Byron Katie. I work with people privately and offer online classes. Please visit for more information. I also still occasionally lead the 11am Sunday Gathering at the Rocky Mountain Miracles Center in Denver. For more information


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