brother fence

without the thought "i need..."

i see the joke.

are you kidding?

this rippling imagination...

lillies of the valley,
flowing vines swirling
over grasses and hedges in midsummer
pungent
breath

just this alone!

then,
a blue sky,   oh my!

the two(?) squirrels
darting  effortlessly,
bouncing from swaying branch
to branch after each other...

and
a rooftop!

oh what is this lovely thing
we call a "roof"?
between
me and 32 degrees,
between
me and icy water,
flurrying snow,
sunlight and starlight,
and neighbors' eyes...

is there
anything
more wonderful
than a "roof"?

oh yes, yes, yes!

that footprint in the snow...

i am not here alone

companioned by every single thing,
familied with the wooden slatted fence
once growing
flowing
breathing, too,
offering
my very breath

she
side by side

i cannot walk
one step ahead
or behind
"my" fence  (is it really mine...those trees freely swooping up into the clear air?)

i simply cannot exist
without every speck

all here,
overflowing,
every time i open my eyes
or
close them,
absolutely everything
i  need

without the thought "i need..."
the overflowing
hits me in the face!

a pie, honey!

so good
to see  it
at last

pure gold

the most hated part of yourself
is
a
diamond

literally,
everything you have ever wanted

only here
is
redemption possible

look at  it,
every particle,
leaving nothing out,

it is the not looking
that causes you to lay it on me, God, every plant, police officer, government official, sister, grandma,  and even newborn baby...

you must look
if you would find peace,
for here is all conflict that exists

buried,
away from the truth.

in the light, you can ask again,
is it really true?

be still,
ask,
wait...

let
the truth
be
known

un curtainty

open mind

that
thought floating through

and who knows
who knows
who knows


what belief
will catch
spark
be given life
action
neon
letters
adrenal rush
steroids
hormones
drool
to
fondle the emotions

turn up the volume
in this steamy
can of worms
laboratory

what is real
what is not

magician
happening

rabbits out of a hat

literally
terror out of thin air

and now
merry tinkling  of bells

dainty
ferocious
jowels

up rising crowds
trains
stampedes
drifting into snow
sifting sand dunes

sculptures of particles

mammoth of spaces

un certainty he calls it

magnificence
another

the forming forming forming

creation
unfolding
now...

so simple

and so it is

that flowers bloom
on their own

timetable

no whip can ever educe a flower

to grace the world


grace is

ever

of its own accord

whiplash,
insanity,
blindness
to the effluence,
to the laughter
bouncing
around 
inside

the troubled mind,
just a flash
of
a
question

and the Answer:

Let there be Light

was everywhere
all around
in that very same instant

honestly,
who would whip God/Reality?

and
think
it
a
real
possibility
unless
he
were...

drunk?

whipping a flower?@!

c'mon!

even a two year old can see that doesn't work....

my puppy always
prefers
a hug
to a whip...

:-)

restitution

restitution
to the unborn baby

who prior to birth
was promised to slavery

owing
just for being--
stealing from the mother
her very blood

this vampirous growth
expecting to be carried around
and fed
and bathed

where does she get off
thinking the world owes her?

restitution
now

for this twisting of baby's hair,
this clamping into chains
the delicate golden petals,
so tender
it brings tears,
so gentle
so beautiful
this lacy song

what's the use of it
if it can't put a meal on the table?

oh the destitution 
of this harsh mother,

the world's a dangerous place,
you better learn it now, kid

no  one is going to look out for you,
you better get that into that thick head of yours

oh,

restitution

now...

your grace
your humble presence
your clarity
your joy
all the gift
the world could ever desire

blessed
so very very blessed
by your presence

wonderland

without the thought,
i am something...


she came to sit upon my lap,
the gift of life,
a baby,
little girl,
curly hair,
tiny toes

she came to swing
a while
back and forth in mind

to show up
as a tulip
so red and yellow and black and scented
in Holland!@?

or Littleton (is it so...?)

ask the Arapaho tribe

ask the stars

ask a two year old

ask Santa.

prior to John Little
whose town was it?

unincorporated,
now incorporated...
we say

tell the dandelions,
the geese,
the rain--
we own you now!

ha ha ha ah

and now
it doesn't rain

and no one wants this desert

no one will pay
to buy a house here
or start a business...

and oh,
it gets so complicated

i forget

she comes to swing,

just swing

for the joy
of it!

hmmm...

here's the error:

you think
what you can't see
isn't there

:-)

so
just admit it,

the only problem is

i am blind.

ask
for another perspective
and perhaps
the lightbulb
will go on...


:-))))

dreamy images

dreamy images
merge
like melting ice cream
and sauce

where does one begin
and the other end?

nowhere
is there
a beginning to one
and and end to the other

chicken and egg
on the same screen,
same piece of fabric--
one concept,
not two

herein
is all pain
undone

you and i
are one concept,
not two

"i"
cannot be
without
"you"

"we"
cannot exist
apart from
the Whole,
God

dreamy images,
truer
than "lie", "life"

leaf, that crinkles and "dies"/is born
into soil,
circle ulates
into tree roots

literally

sucked up into tree
flowing upward
upward
upward
outward
to end of branch
bud
new

leaf!
never left

leaf,

not a "leaf"
after all, is it?

who would call a river of life,
a leaving of it?

only an ancient story, dear one,
i believed in Santa
because I wanted to...

he brings lots of presents....

what does my belief in separation
and death bring me?

what sack of goodies
am i dying for?

happy holy days...
time
to rest,

to ask...

to make room

at the inner space...

it is your room at the inn

your room,
at the Inn

the lone pea

Father hood
like
neighbor hood ness...

isn't community,
connection,
the obvious

nature of a rug
woven
from a sheep's hair
and a cotton plant

that wholeheartedly
did
just arise
out of mud and water
and sunshine?

where did the crazy idea
ever come from

that i could
be
a lone r
in this soup,
this concoction,
this casserole dish?

one pea
without a father,
without any other peas in the world...
i just appeared and made my self up
with no help at all
from FatherMother Pea

how childlike,
how mythological,
how playful,
such a story...

but certainly not

possible!

:-)

stitches

stitches

eyes sewed shut tight
by the  needle of belief

heaven all around
touching me
fingers
looking
goofy
musical
oof the wall
"raised in a barn"
a notch too high
delinquent

pearls
of salvation
this necklace

my joy
replaced
by stitches

ramping up
only blindness
i call colorful

this righteous rightness
of mine

nothing else
do i cherish so dearly

cast overboard
all family, friends
and strangers

that on my gravestone
my holy name
is inscribed,
"i am right"
and everyone else is wrong...

a life of death
herein lies

to have lived,
but not to have loved
at all

isn't it time
now
to remove
the stitches
and
notice

the stars bursting
in flame?

these dear dear hearts,
the tender dazzling reflection
of my own

transparent heart

this "man's" heart was so transparent

crystal clear
nothing to hide
the light
from coming through

without the thought "i have to solve her problem"

 love was all there was

 tenderness
 humor
 relaxation
 touch
 restoration
 presence

the blessed residue
of marriage
of my Self
the Other
the All

no thought
to cloud the Sky

only holiness

on his knees
to offer his love
to hold her hand
to walk beside her
to look into her eyes
and be

wisdom

wisdom
has seen
everything

nothing new
under the sun,
children growing up
don't know this

they think
surprises can happen,
a flat tire,
a death,
puppy
peeing on the rug

no new thought

wisdom has been there first,
seen
the outcome,

holds the perspective
of what going down that road means

it's been done
1000x1000 times before

she also knows the road less traveled

denial is to pretend
you aren't wise
and don't know this

it's a lie
about a lie

if you try emptiness
one more time,
you will come out full

you know
this isn't so,
Child

imagine

imagine  (a state of mind)

where all things are possible

and no one
is ever
hurt

nothing too good
to be true

"sometimes i've believed
as many as six impossible things
before breakfast." (Lewis Carroll as the queen in Alice in Wonderland)

so natural and fun
as kids

flying like a bird
leaping over mountains
as big as Paul Bunyan

reaching the stars
holding Jupiter in my hand

giants
Lilliputians
mice that talk
talking car/boats
fleas with wisdom

toads and beasts transformed by a single kiss

imagine Joy!
more than you ever dreamed possible

what would you rather do with your time?
is there a better way
to spend time?
a greater purpose?

than ecstasy
friendship
laughter
clarity?

all power in Heaven and earth
all power in Mind
all power now
here
you

nowhere else 
no one else
no how else
no second to wait

simply yours
whenever you want 
what you are,

the Source
of all Joy

whoooeee!

nothing
beats you, Joy

ode to a dirty dish

there is a fold in the cloth,

a misnomer
in the mind

there 's no such thing
as
a dirty dish.

it's supposed to be
 exactly as it is
right now

greasy chicken carcass
scraps of green
scattered grains of rice

you just ate

look!
 at the beauty
of the remains

the story 
of one fed
human being

a dinner provided
easily
kindly
tastily

a bird
flew here
to support you!

she lives as you
now

what need is the hurry
to erase this gift?

this plenty,
of flourishing green leaves,

the sun herself,
in costume,
in juices you can drink

she lives as you 
now

oh divine miracle,
the flow
of each
into the other--
how ever did we
conceive
for a moment
that
"i" am not the sea,
not the earth,
not the leaf,
or the flower?

no,
hurry not
to wash away
this life's gifts

that continue
like a circle
ever to arrive
arrive
arrive

the signs of her
Coming,
the "dirty" dish
is but
altar
to get on my knees
and give thanks
give thanks
give thanks

that wonders
never do cease

and Love
provides
a feast

every moment
every moment
every
moment

how grateful
to have the sign
i've
been
fed...

no more a 'dirty' dish,
but only
a dish
covered
completely
in love....

She
gives

She gives

now
now

now

i never dreamed....

have you ever seen
a rose
come right out of  your mouth?

literally
bloom
fragrance
out on to the loveliness
surrounding you?

looking at you
with bright eyes

and hearts,
mirrors,
these dear...
One Heart

all give back to me
today

12 mirrors
beam back
depth
intimacy
fearlessness
innocence
the impossibility of loss,
trust

he said,
oh! i never dreamed i could paint 
anything
so beautiful!

can you feel it?

how grateful.
 to be  showered 
by the starlight
in my brother's eyes...

the joy
of experiencing
the grace
that flows
continually
everywhere

Shepherd

gathering the sheep,
the unquestioned beliefs,

gathering them one at a time
to name, identify

yes, dear
yes, child
yes, lambkin
tell me everything, your story,
until you have no more to tell

i go to the bottom
of this pit
with you

it is  not a bottomless pit

there is light
at the end of the tunnel

yeah, though i walk
through the very darkest valley
in the shadow
of death and destruction...

there is not one thing
to fear
but a misinterpretation:
faith
in the absence of light

can it really be
that what stands under all this--
understanding--
is missing?

that the Origin of all that is
doesn't exist?

fancy that!
the dreamed up
thinks
it is the dreamer!

the dreamed up
sees a chaotic flurry
because it itself
is a mistake

the game
taken to be serious

napping on the couch
prehistoric dinosaurs
still maul me
and i have to run...

from nothing at all!

nothing at all
no thing
at all

every fearful thought
claims "i am God and 'i' exist
apart from everything"

look now
upon your sons and daughters,
grandchildren,
babies...
everything you see,
the meaning you give it

would you
in this moment
mother love
tranquility
laughter
immaculate conception
purity in heart
true love

or

nuisance
annoyance
irritation
arrogance
flaw filled emptiness
missing everything?

this moment
you are wholly free
to be Heaven

or
stand just outside the door
and look longingly into the store window

Child, I am you
 always

natural brilliance

no matter what you are thinking
how depressed
hopeless
lonely
sad
hurt
angry

the brilliant magenta Christmas cactus
blooms

the richest, deepest most vibrant
color
appears

completely without "you"

astounding beauty
shows up
continually

right in front of your face

just look in the mirror!!
Son of God!

the cornucopia
spilling out all over

the mare's breath
steaming in the cool morning

her beautiful muscles
pulling the plow

your smile
that lights up
every single face,
but first
your own
from within

what an absolute Joy
to be the Source
of a smile

all the laughter
in your world

can't imagine
a better world...

my name is Laughter,
nothing at all
too serious
not to smile at...

so grateful for all of your smiles..................

every where

i look...

the song
of laughter

one starts
and the rest are ringing, too....too   too

here's to you!

what am i
without a future?

whole
lacking nothing
nothing "i"need to do

able to hear the simple direction

do this

without a future
i see
the whole universe
infinite
right here
right now

opening
opening opening

the miraculous right here
right now,
look at this "hand"
moving across the page....

without a future,
wonder!

reception
magnificence
splendor

She 
toasts to me,
here's to you, Love,
sweetest kiss
that ever walked the
face of this earth,

holy angel
bright and so beautiful

here's to you,
tears of joy
for your homecoming

now

forever open doors
forever open heart
no other time or place

not one nanosecond away

Home,
timeless
expansion,

extravagance
of Heaven

Eternal Joy

only this!

no other idea

Here's to You!
without a future

amen

your heart is not ransomed to the future,
kept from you in a cold dark garage

there is not one penny you must pay,
not one half penny,
nothing you need do
to be
the Heaven
 you are

time is not required :-)))))))))))))))))))))))))

it's all given you
for your joy joy joy joy
eternal joy

love the grass you sit upon

once upon a time
there was a tiny tiny little girl
who lived in the woods.

one day
she was out walking
and came to a bridge
that seemed far too big
for her to cross.

the logs it was made of
were ten times as big as she.

insurmountable
it seemed

so she sat very still
and closed her eyes
and asked
how in the world ....
what
was she to do?

"what am i to do, Father,
when the mountain seems so big
and i can't even see the top
and there is not a stairway,
nor a single step
or ladder?
where do i even begin?"

look down, dear one.
the wind came through.
look down
on the ground
right in front of you.

there is a stick
just right for you.
you will know it
when you see it.
this is all you will ever need.
just remember,
 hold my hand,
and it is given you
the Strength
Awakened.

rest now, dear one.
wait
and watch,
and love the grass
you sit upon.

and after sometime
a peddler came by
upon a horse
and saw her
sitting there,
and he asked her
if she needed a ride.

she smiled.
her eyes shone.
her whole face lit.

and the heart of the peddler
was so grateful
for her warmth,
for it had been a very long time
since he had known a friend.

he lifted her up
upon his huge horse.
it's hooves, too,
were as big as boulders.

and in one fell swoop
they all rose up and up and up
on to the logs
that ran  far across the river

to the Unknown

the New Space
where "she"
had no idea

what
was
going
on...

completely
without the past

it was a Whole New Day!

without a chair...

"chair"

and the world is born

everything that goes with it

without "chair"
no "i"

no 2

without a name
no separation

without "book", "i"
slubmerging
flowing through
"the bookcase"
no stopping
no starting

seeming to sit still
isn't

flowing growing tree
now cut
now pulp
now paper
now cut
now printed, bound
trucked
boxed
bagged
merchandise
gift
stacked
a weight
opened
closed
marked
looked at
closed
shelved

burned
tossed
trashed
collaged
brittle yellow decomposing (or simply simply flowing flowing flowing.....)
encased under glass on display for millions of "eyes"
to see!  (it must be so!!!)

spilled on
rained on
buried
composted

these thoughts
on "those pages"
indisposable

existed
before
during
after

words: ideas
that seemed to shift
other ideas

where's the proof
"i" ever existed?

personal viewpoint...
no other can access

no proof at all

just
imagination

pure
imagination

(in joy)

take nothing

seriously...

silence

silence
is the Way
of Master y

Myster y

allows all feelings
to be experienced,
not dispersed
on the ground

silence is
my Self

the sacred Home,
prior to the refugee out
looking
for her home,
before "she" left,
by talking
in her "own" voice,

asking 
for what she couldn't hear,
be cause
"she" was talking,
to hear the sound
of "her own voice",
prima donna,
out standing

silence is one,
no opposition,
no two,
no "opinion"

just listening
receiving
receiving
receiving

she hurtled through space
frictionless
landing no where

feeling
just feeling
being carried,
watching passing stars
which really weren't moving,
weren't stars at all

ungraspable
she finally relaxed

and
everything opened up

really opened up

and never stopped opening


no idea...
of what
or where
or when
or how
or who

the vacuum

priceless

everywhere all at once

no opposing force

feed the birds

such a sweet bird,
this thought

fluttering

resting
on the wire

light hits her wings,
just a speck now in the heights

feed the birds,
twopence a bag

there is nothing to fear,
these familiar birds
flying with you

circling round

would you want
a birdless sky?

to shoot down
every idea
coming to you?

what but fear
would kill everything
in sight
of mind,

bar the door?

no

open the gates
allow  hellfire
to tell herstory,
tell herstory,
tell herstory

now
she can be silent,

dear Listening One.

all she ever wanted
was your attention

how easy
to look
at a child

to listen
to baby,

Mother

faith in the unseen...

nothing to do

it's happening (i think)

sun
up
moving
across sky

busy cars
lights change

all imagined

ALL
sitting on couch (is it true?)

once called
a tree
and cotton plants
earth
soil
water
sky
so many hands
trucks
electricity (what the heck is that?)

right under my butt (is it true?)
this image i can only imagine

(you've never seen your back)
NEVER

i could really have a hole
in the back of my head :-)

playfoul admonitions

that's going a bit too far,
isn't it, joy?

everyone knows...
people don't have a hole
in the back of their heads...

"have you ever seen one?"

under all that hair?!@

c'mon,
wouldn't it explain alot?  

closed or close or closet... que pasa?

center

watching

"every point of view
depends on the viewer"

view master

my toothpaste is striped
while yours is green
and we only bought one tube

you see 5 am
i at 10
and noon is early for me--
late
for you

high on a balloon ride
the mountains are pinpoints

yet i cannot ever find the peak
walking for 100 years

laying down
i roll over
down the hill
rabbit bounds into,
her home
of bunnies
hiding from fox

who watches,
waiting silently,
unseen by all

his big life
dashing through the sunshine
such a fine fine tail

child with curly hair
watches cartoon
laughs with glee

no idea fox exists

parallel universes
closets of imagination

only One

this

to open


awareness,
allow
my walls to completely fall
dissolving
permanence that never was

oh yea, though i walk through
the valley
of the shadow of death
i will fear no evil

for Thou
art i

wrapped and waiting

(after  i wrote the last one...the image of Aaron, his head in a bag, laying on the futon...came to me...and I realized perhaps this was a gift...

a new way to see

to receive...

a kiss

goodbye

in a bag

he left 

so

 silently

no thunder

no dragons

no murder

he simply

and clearly

lay down

on a soft bed

put a bag 

over his head

and breathed in gas

for a moment

he breathed his last breath

it wasn't a roar

of drama

he just became very still

"he" was

no more

not a doing,

but an undoing

this "story"

i now lay aside

i step out of this costume,

this concocted image,

imagined terror

and noisiness

the volume goes

to nil

peace, 

darling,

peace

who would i be

without this body?

i kiss it

goodbye,

thank it 

for sharing its entire existence

with me

and watch

it lay still

re turn

to silence

is not hell

a kiss

in a bag

finally 

received

bagged

I found a bag

with

a kiss

in it

right there

in the gutter.

who would've thought...

such a find

left behind

by some sweet

kisser

was it a man,

a woman,

a child?

rich?

poor?

a barber?

milkmaid?

an ancient warrior

or a caveman?

perhaps the woman with the pearl earring

who sat for the famous artist?

the thing is,

it's all the same

a dear, tender kiss

right from the center

of my heart

the center

of humanity

just laying

on the curb

where else

could

it possibly be?

God doesn't hide

his favorite things.

a gift is obvious:

you put it in plain sight--

not behind the crackers 

on the top shelf 

of the cupboard.

illusory

illusory

flickering

like candles

in brown paper sacks

can that really be 

re liable,

the same

when revisited...?

no, 

the wave has rolled,

the surf receded,

the house burned

and new tenants

fighting in the kitchen,

the beautiful bathroom tile

doesn't exist

for anyone

the sun comes through the window

and everyone's out to lunch

the stock market

magnetizes thoughts,

can't budge right now

until

until

until...

beautiful balmy days

the tortoise basks,

lays her eggs

no one sees

the miracle

even mud

grace
is
such an elegant creature

smooth and flowing
there is no sticking place

no wrong to hang on to

there's only a going
going
going
going

ravishing beauty
strikes again
and again
and again

always gone
gone
gone

the space
left open
for the unknown

impossible to judge
the never seen before

breathless,
i await
Her entrance

and some people (myself included)
dare
to call it
an earthworm
and
sleepthinking
they believe
 they know

but her glory
can never be
stated

her glory,
out of the park,
of my radar:

even mud
is gold

even mud
is
gold...

gargantuan acts

gargantuan acts

defying gravity,
the pull
of the earth

for Heaven's sake,

the sake
of Levity

rising
the death of me

from hellacious terms
to felicity

where she long since
leaped
fully

away
away

gargantuan acting
is the only thing
the little pea
has ever done

"i" am big,
it tries to convince
Reality

laughter
was Her only response

and She adored him

foot in the door

grace

keeps the door open,

foot in the door,

there's  no closing it now

reference of freedom
attractive,
resist  less

without friction
without a sane reason not
to enter Heaven,
the state of having
Everything,
Haven

you are pulled

nothing to stop you

nothing real to hold on to
but
Love

carrying you
under your feet
up in the sky
the stars at night

no where
you can look
Heaven isn't

She carries me
every where

anchored

Her birthmark
of eternal

Grace

in my vision

buried alive

grace

reveals

new
 dawn,

what was always,

prior to doom,
doomsday

old cloud
pouring
pouring
pouring
endless 
tears

hell.

grace
revitalizes

buried
life

buried alive!

haunting you:
let her up
let her up
let her breathe

you know "this"
is not the real you

you know
love is joy,

kindness the only satisfaction,

selflessness,
your highest experience.

you cannot
abandon
an innocent child

and sleep at night


She calls you
eternally

the baby,
you

Love her
with everything
you've got

this is the answer
to every prayer
you have ever
conceived...

let

Her

live...

grace

grace

opens all doors
beliefs
thoughts

to eternity
timelessness
spacelessness

no space
between
you
and "me"

you
being in "my" mind
can only be
"me"

ever

everything i see
"my"
creation

or fabrication,
pretense,
block

residue

removed,

grace sees through,
transparencies
whatever seems solid

evidence no longer fits where it did before,
it can only be seen
as kindness
now

as innocence,
no evil doer,
no evil deeds

ever

just asleep,
i gave credibility
to the absence of Love,

tried to build a case
against happiness:
that nature
was foul
and nasty

there is no fearless mother
on earth
who would harm her own baby,
all that is

only  a fear crazed mind
giving to the incredible,
credibility
could demonstrate such insanity

grace sees
fear is not our Creator,
Source,
nor our destiny

prior to fear,
wonder!

no where
i need to go

no thing
i need to do

just loveliness
 inviting,

beauty
music
french horns and lilacs!
to spend the day with

or perhaps playing with charcoal, (i actually do get paid for this! and people come! and we laugh!)
colored chalk on the sidewalk,
wading in streams (of water or people or skies.....streams... of love!....)
feeling  (mental)  bubbles pop
while listening,
really listening
to a friend
tell you her heart

no space
between you

no space
between you
and any thing

i love...give thanks
for

that bright yellow rider
dashing across the meadow,
the ducks,
the monkeys

the silent night

the bus station at 3am
in downtown Chicago

waiting  for the freight train,
102 cars

i love...
waving to the caboose,
the engineer,
the driver
behind me

the driver
within

being

Love,

Grace,
to see it

Grace,

just

to be...

harvest

it's about harvesting
the mind

cultivating

so its not running wild
haywire
in all directions
at once
against itself
fighting
opposing and blocking
negating

how tiring
confusing
chaotic
going nowhere
 working  so endlessly hard
exhausted
futile
absolutely hopeless
(the bull in the China shop)

no, mind is a servant, a fruit;
it has a Master

here is all Joy
zero war
no weapons, defense needed

perfection

mind is not source,
Spirit is,
Heart

is forever creation

Heart
knows no bounds

Heart
is the well
infinite
depth
inward expansion

openess

more tender
than the tenderest kiss

without barrier

pre  conception
pre  thought

Love needs no reason
to act

no choice
no question
it does
moves
leaps!
without justification
unexplainable
un understandable
un reasonable
without caution,
hesitation,
without notice!
fear of outcome,
it's never divided
being all for Itself

it never denies Itself
anything,
even for a moment!

God
Life
speaks
cannot be contained

like a laugh,
 a smile

it's simply there
it's  happening
you didn't create it,
did nothing to earn it,
can never lose it,
its always you

being done
being smiled
being laughed

mistaken identity corrected:
heart, not intellect
is ruler

no war
no argument
against Heart/Nature
can ever be won

Venus
land of darling and sweetheart
mothers and cherubs
devotion
wings
halos
do exist
afterall,
are the Reality

the 10 commandments
are simply the nature of Heart
(not forbidden behaviors)

Overflowing Heart
only gives and gives and gives
and never takes,
steals, lies,
covets, lacks,
is divided,
nor jealous...
how silly,
how inconceivable
in
wholly abundant
generous
joyous
grateful
heart

the law of Love,
Universal Law,
no exceptions

fear is completely
without cause
and what has no cause,
has no effect

it's an insane thought
to think Generosity
is here to do work it hates,
and live with people it hates
and do things it doesn't want to do
or not have enough to eat...

on its knees, loyal servant,
is the perfect
position of mind

where love rules

and mind
holds up
not one thought
of opposition

without thought
She smiled
and behold
it was very, very good!

(no should i or shouldn't i?)

Just Pure Integrity

breast of God

i am
the breast of God

milk comes through me

to nurse
the babies'
hungry mouths

open

for ascension
unto
Heaven

elevation
to sanity
levity
flexibility
play full ness
with the Whole Deck

perseverance
knowing
the joker
is not the King of Hearts,
but an entertainer,
a wild card,

trickster coyote
at 3 a.m.
bewitching you,
the spell
that a picture in your mind
is real
 and threatening
and calls for action!

delirium
sweating
pounding heart
help!  me! please

rest,
 angel,
you are at home
safe and sound
in bed

rest

the air is cool and fresh
and sweet

the rain holds the scent
of pine
and soil
and river

thank you

i am
the breast of God

milk comes through me

there is nothing to fear
dear one

pictures
can't bite

the image in your mind
is
a decoy--
not a real duck!

everything 
you think
is a decoy

all freedom is yours
to see this

lighter than a feather

the milk
of
God

not enough

"i don't have enough (you name it...)"

like a two-year old...

he got more!

Look!

Everything!
you have
has been given to you

eyes
ears
music
song!
for goodness sakes,
just that alone!

how happity it feels to sing!
to feel
the love,
the tenderness,
the depth,
the connection
with another,
with a million,
as we all sing...
imagine...

or
whatever
this one heart...

when all thoughts
of self
have disappeared...

the lawn

given you,

this "house"
couch
paper and pen!!!
bank account
friends
(even your "enemies" given you--
and don't you really love
this being
you are so engaged with,
the mirror
who shows you
your intestines,

every thought inside of you
you have hidden from your eyes
and ownership)

not enough?

how much bigger can the sky get?!

how much brighter and warmer the sun?

what greater father than God, Itself,
The Source 
of All Joy?

Heaven rains upon us,

rains!

pours,
puddles collecting
into rivers streaming
gushing...

all i need do is stop,
pause button
the thought
of "not enough"
and

SEE

it would take me all day
just to count the leaves on the tree
outside the window

oh Heart!
oh Heart
that radiates
such love

you are not
a body

and there is no limit

in Love...

simply fall

into Its Arms...

you are 
anyway!

you've never been
in charge

Thank God! you have no control

God is

enough

and so much

more....

light is all the same

light is all the same

that's how you know it's true

no shift,
no differences,
consistent,
words, thoughts, feelings

free to forgive,
turn over,
to the other side

turn back
the page,
underneath,
to the kid,

before shame

before scolding,
before reprimanding,
before a mold
 of artificial safety,
"do this, and you will be "loved",
accepted,
safe

peel back
this thought
that anything is required
of the daffodil

who, but God
could instruct the daffodil,
His Own right hand,
to be anything
more beautiful than it is?

more yellow,
more radiant,
more Itself,
more aromatic,
louder,
faster,
cleaner,
smarter,
bigger?

only an incredibly
distorted, insane
mind--
in denial of all that  is--
could imagine
safety lies
in its own mind

God is.

Simply allow

all the yellow
all the perfume
all the beauty
to be

the page
before shame
is You,

Daffodil

freedom is my soul

freedom is my soul

free
to sweep away the sticks
and stones

have you seen
the river
ravish the countryside?

there is nothing that is
but a piece of straw
to this huge
soul

this huge power

nothing but a feather
in its path

i love you up

and down

no such thing as a real hindrance,
no possibility of opposition,
holding back Nature

it is You!
Love

this Power
your Soul,
no such thing as a dam,
nor damned

GodLove,
Thy Will,
this single thought
relieves tired confused mind
of all it thinks it holds

nothing but clouds
in a breath dispersed

sweet sailor,
atop the river,
i watch as nothing stands
in the Way of God

every speck
of perceived guilt
overturned

new tender blades of grass,
rich fertile soil,

now

only Love grows here

only Love
only Love
has ever grown

freedom
is
my soul

cells and cellos

do you see
it is your  mind
that is the lantern
that shows you
the streets of this world?

how dim
or how brightly
the world sparkles

how clean
how unveiled
the clarity of translation

God, Creator of all,
 cannot be 
deprivation,
missing,
scarce,
in short supply

High Power
is all ways

being Light,
nothing is hidden

fully integrated,
no clashing of edges

being the Dance of Light
everything is lit
in Her Presence

equal brilliance,
"your" house
and "mine"

in meditation
Light is allowed
free rein

completely unharnessed,
nothing kept outside of It

fear is simply
lack of light

unable to see the truth

Joy and Safety
is but to shed light
on the situation

to look inside
at the light
you are

 every cell functioning
without your awareness

something
is living you
reproducing you
restoring you
regenerating you
fountaining you

illumining "you",
sparkling out of your eye!

what's behind "you",
puppet, facade?

what brought you here?
this is no little question

what's moving you?
thinking you?
breathing you?

all those trains,
busses, planes,
ocean waves
that keep roaring
and crashing,
whole planets
that keep spinning
and spinning and 
spinning,
stars,
moons,
motoring,
whizzing...
and it's not you doing it


cats
have whiskers
and wash their own faces
and you 
didn't give your cat
even one
single beautiful whisker

Hi Ho!

Pause for a moment

!

see this Kingdom before you,
sit quietly

and wonder

what 
is behind it,
your very cells
and cellos?

notice what  Loveliness
created...
a "cello"
placed in certain hands,
with a certain touch,
at a certain time,
that "your" very cells

dance!

yes,
 dance!

goosebumps!

hair on end!

in this very moment!

behind,
dear one,
ponder...

what 
is
behind
you?

loveliness rising

loveliness has risen
her head over the pillow

halfway
this smile
the curling eyes
just rising up
of her own weightlessness

he has seen his loveliness
in another

the reflection on the pond
this morning

the brilliant shimmering
on the lake,

the puddle,
of the one
whose nose
is touching yours

no such thing as nosy,
it's all 
God's business

smelling out a rat
is but your kissing
yourself now,

where once
you misunderstood

the thought
there was something
that should die,
be killed,
punished,
something that could hurt you

but this morning
the lake is shimmering

because last night
you stayed up late
and heard God
speak to you,

words,

right out
of
human lips


the illusion
over now
of God
and man.

Only One, dear

Only One

effortless

question not
 the dove

the softness
of the feather

the flight
the height
the gliding
on the wind
high above the earth

carried
easily

effortlessly

free
to travel
anywhere

not one obstacle
anywhere

endless space

not a single corner,
no place
to get stuck
or trapped

no ruts

imagine today
you are carried

absolutely carried
without exception

every single thought
footstep
breath

given you

pure grace


for no purpose at all
but
endless joy

endless
e x p a n s i o n. . . 

i am a rooster

i am a rooster
crowing in the light
of God
as dawn
brings truth
to my ancient prison,
"there's not enough time."

such freedom
 excites
 celebrates
sharing with the world

happiness
enthusiasm
gratitude
joyful wings

from here
to eternity

from earth
to the farthest stars
in the sky

we are breathed
we are breathed

you do nothing for your existence
all thoughts are given you
completely without any effort of our own

your gifts
but a joy
to share,
not work
not sacrifice,
but naturally
internally
rewarding

gratefully
adored by friends

think not you own
but one ounce of credit
for anything
that occurs in your life

think not you owe
one ounce of anything
to simply sit there

notice
Life
as
"you"
perfectly complete

no one ever had to teach you
how to laugh!

nor can you ever forget,
nor  force,
nor stop it...

Laughter lives us

what a shining star
you are,
 laughter
spilling out of your eyes,
down your cheeks,
dancing into my ears
wafting
summersaulting
again
and again
and again

the world was mistaken

you deserve no punishment
ever
for "being late"

laughter is always
welcome

herein lies the peace of God

welcome
but your own laughter
back home

She adores you,
silly child

re-mind the world,
yourself,
of joy

it's always the perfect time
for joy full  play full ness....

crowing in the morning,

delight!

cloud friends and wagon trains

I am alone.

Is it true?

no.

wise woman
waits for me
sits with me
always

song
inspiration
light
clarity
remains

better question:
what am i
without the thought
"i am alone"?

full
pregnant
generous
generative
giving
ever expanding
rising
bigger horizons
opening
(images of big fluffly clouds
expanding like popping corn
in blue sky)

gracious
her skirts swing
and swirl
light on tip toes

swinging,
singing:
"hinter und fro geh' die Eier!"
(back and forth go the eggs!)

spontaneous joy!
silliness
collapsed time
(no past, no future)
this flower now

the breath
carrying all creation on it

(and who made the breath?...

you come with your own 
internal repair manual)

all creation on this breath...
wagon trails and trains
crossing deserts
mountains
pioneers

all in one moment
eternity
all of it
infinite models and modes
of transportation
fashion
and speech,

just coveralls
for identity

breathing in
and out

clouds
sky
trees
grass
air
water

gifts 
literally
just falling from the sky

isn't that enough proof?

never alone

no,
never
ever
alone

give up

the only way
to make headway
is
to rest

just give up
100%
all "your" ideas
script
opinions
true or false
good or bad

totally give up

in every moment

"you" do not know

give up "knowing"

the past has not taught 
you one thing you would retain

"it" does it,
reaches over for a coffee cup,
tied to a mechanical chain,
like a bike going round,
conveyor belt moving cans,

thought moves hand,
so quickly it seems
movement happens before thought,
confusing mind
that body is cause
and thought effect,
backwards

something watches it

fish swimming in the mind
so fast
so quickly turn
dart
here, gone

still

definitely swimming in schools!

"i need chapstick"
"i paint fish"
"i teach art"
"i read the Course"
"i write poetry"...
oh my oh my....

sparkling jewels
these flashy colorful fish
attract attention

glide in silently
effortlessly
unnoticed

ocean
ocean
of Mind

it isn't that the ocean world
is ever going to dry up
and go away
and leave the fish for dead

without "my" knowing
every single fish
is free
to swim
in every inch of ocean
without fear

no thought
can ever be perceived as
dangerous
without "my" knowing

only gratitude,
amazing beauty,
herein
 lies the peace
of God

behold he looked on everything
and it was very, very good

lesson of a pillow

pillows
slumps of comfort.
color,
slimping
slamping

resting comfortably
cushioning falls
holding
caressing
supporting
flexible
willing
service
waiting
available
still

very, very still

motionless



it seems

yet all
being breathed
lit
from within

its very substance
electric,
buzzing so fast
i can't see it

invisible light
hooking together
magnetic
action
continuous

same as "me"
atoms
electrons
carbon
space

family
sister
mother
grandest uncle

no separate roads at all
ever
not even time

collapsed

this carbon element
completely untraceable,
unprovable

all just a story

sweet sweet silent night

all
 just
a story,
child

lay your head
on My Pillow,
rest
rest
rest...

perfectly ok without her

There is no peace except the peace of God (L200acim)

There is no peace
in denial of your true Self,
lying,
blaming others
so you keep the truth
from you
of your own lie/attack
upon your self

there is no peace
without loving
you

no end of war
no cleaning up of the environment
no election results
outside of you
hold anything for you

your deepest fears
still remain
lurking
to strike
at the nearest opportunity

homing pigeon
homing pigeon
only one place
to land
to live freely
at rest

deep inside this
cavern

explore
the cobwebs,
what's hanging off the ceiling,
the torn wallpaper

come home
to this
forgotten attic
where all childhood memories
lay hidden
under years of dust
haunting
all your present loves

crack the door
the lock has held closed

the answer to every problem
you'll ever have
is here

all wisdom,
in dreams undone

the child's view,
reseen,
for what it is

and only Love
only Love
only Love
blazes through

so grateful
for vision
beyond a two-year-old

mama liked to dance
on friday nights

and i was ok
without her

i'm perfectly ok,
 have always been,
perfectly ok,
without anything

there is no peace
without this truth

isn't it about time the past is over?

one among them was not happy

and he said to him,
what ails thee, brother?

what place in your heart
is frozen in stone

ungiving
the water
to your lover,
to your world?

tell me,
what past event
have you frozen in time,
frozen in your mind,
and carry with you

that prevents you
from kissing
every face
you would embrace?

this hardening
that let's no softness
enter?

isn't it time
the past is over?

what effort
it must take
to string along that moment
each day of your life,
to replace every present
with it

to hold it
forward
and offer it
in place of a hand shake
to every "new" encounter

no wonder
your shoulders are tense

what a gargantuan task,
torture:

receive not
the glory before you

receive not
the dawn,
whatever the new day brings
you may not have it

hold only the night
in your mind
forever

what a spell!
we have agreed to

experience not
your Self
without the past

never be
without the past,
your god!

what a ball and chain!

do you see
how your basket
is never empty,
has no space
to receive?

only without the past
is it possible
to see
what is

look him in the eye

like a thread
unraveling
the whole dress

one false move/thought
and your whole world
falls apart

no safety anywhere
everyone suspect
a mirror of your suspicion

be still, young one,
and watch
the door

 see what
terrorist
you would welcome
without investigation
without inspection
without proof of credentials

there is no crime Love ever committed,
so no attack that is ever justified

watch
the dark visitor,
lift his veil,
look him in the eye
'til there is only one
of you

the Will of God
meets
strangers in the park,
no facade
that does not melt

behind the body,
One Mind

behind the mind,
One Heart

behind the Heart...

what differences
can come
from a single Source?

loco motive

heartsick
she wretched
made herself sick
drained all her energy

when her mind
lied to her,
believed something
impossible,
untrue,
against her nature

be cause
she mis understood,
mis interpreted,
mis perceived

this innocent boy

how can a baby
be "bad"?
guilty?

a child

both, children

mother no more grown up,
no more awake,
sound asleep to her guilt,
projection

believing her wants,
needs,
shoulds,
past pictures,
historical photos

of what a "happy (family)"
looks like,
a successful (mother),
a worthy person

defined mother
by having a son,
poor thing

and innocent, she,
a babe in swaddling clothes,
she,
lost in guilty thoughts,
looking for redemption
as a wonderful "mother"

and not finding it where it coud never be!

slammed!
face to the wall

crystal ball shattered!

her son dead

couldn't take it
the pressure cooker
of a mother
needing him to excel--
to redeem "her",
give her worth
she was denying
to herself

hopeless

life stopped.

finally.

she had to get off
that train
of thought

she,
too,
image,
must die

no more
crystal ball
to worship

only stillness

only stillness

only stillness

station empty

what am i
without
that train
of thought?

(dedicated to the dear innocent baby we all are...
traveling
to new worlds
where infants
have no stain,
no hindrance
at all
to Heaven Itself)

before you ask
I am there

death sentence

death sentence:
"i should be better..."

no, dear innocent child,
you shouldn't be
one eyelash different
than the loveliest of flowers
you are in this moment

only you
only now
only here
exactly the gift

take off that heavy noose
and see what is,
see your heart

so pure
perfect love
now and ever

pure gold
remains
no alchemy needed

just stop telling the lie
it's not there
and refusing to look
where it is

gazing at the totally imaginary planet 
of "better" than now
better than reality
better than God
better than what is

look in the mirror,
not at other,
name your gifts,
thank your Self,
fall in love

here is your true Love,
the One Friend
Partner
Lover
you can't live without

no other destination
can compete
can compare

nothing better
than you
in all the world

priceless

born free
to love
yourself

that's life

dictionary: Love

ode to the critic

let the rain fall

plowshares
on my head,
bruise  nose and cheeks,
scrape raw
elbows and knees

it is but love
racing at you

falling on your ears
from every mouth,
your own

innocent child,
uneducated one,
"i know more,
i want to help you"

every harsh word
from motherfathersisterbrother
friend, foe
teacher, student
foreigner, compatriot

every "self sabotaging" thought
within you,
Love

a gift, criticism

the part of the mind
that gives it
thinks,
really believes,
it is being helpful
kind
loving
beneficial to the receiver

even murder
is a form of criticism,
attack,
anger:
you are ignorant
idiot
evil
you must be stopped
for your own benefit
and mine

confused in means,
the heart behind it
identical

being only One

every harsh word:
please
wake up
i want to help you
if you do this, change this,
you will be safer,
happier
better off in some way

hear now,
the love,
only Love
in every single word
you can ever find
upon the face 
of this earth

a star

resting
on the hood
of God's car

i saw a star

it flagged me down

and asked me
if i
might give it
a ride

it needed me
it said
to meet with men
and enter in their meals
and conversations
and bedrooms

it needed me
to hold
it very gently

and let it
enter me
that
whatever i thought of

would be illumined
and glow
for all to see
in the dark...

wisest person on earth....

i will be still an instant
and go home.

in this moment
nothing need be different

the spatula
lays sideways
gleaming in the sun
in the dishrack

see what is
give thanks

nothing
 needs to be put away
it can sit there all day and all night
for 32 days and nights...

it is brilliant!
receive it!!!

it's literally a gift from God!
so are you, of course!

i damn nothing
no one should be one cell different, one word different, one kiss less or more...
no situation...
not one degree of sunshine
nor one drop of rain more or less

to wish 
for what is not,
to fantasize,
is to damn reality

to damn
the big picture,
the knower
beyond my little mind,
beyond "my" microscopic perspective.

the honey is flowing!!!

what a gift
this spatula
a sink
clean running water
plates
steaming oatmeal
electricity...

it would take far longer than a lifetime....
to put it all into words

all the love
behind the word
"cat"

is it really a "her"
and a "me"?

i feel not

this love in my chest
so much gratitude
fills me inside out
beyond my body yes
tableone
joyone
must-be-rug-me-one

where could a line be drawn,
me/love
does not flow through
dissolve?

love
being all borders too
just
to make it easy

this car stops going north
so this one can go west
 just for a moment
at this intersection

its all you

damn nothing

i don't need anything from it

just see what it is
in all its glory
beautiful
service is  nature/natural
humble
it doesn't try to...isn't supposed to
be anything else
or be better
or the best

it never works by itself...
what nonsense

its always an extension of the Hand of God/Love

it can't feel
see
think
decide
complain
hurt

it just waits
between jobs
resting
perfectly still

it's a spatula.
is it true?

who says?
before i believed what my mother believed
was it a spatula?

why not a
rake
shovel
spanker
paintbrush
drawing in the sand tool
a friend
my dolly, her name Macy...the name I gave her...
water splasher
mask
keep away toy
something to catch and throw
a marker for something with the "handle" stuck in the ground
a stencil
toy gun
stop sign
signaller
mirror
anything you can imagine...

so your partner (your enemy)...

what if you treated each person
in your life
as if
s/he were the wisest person in the world
Infinite Love
your savior
God

(remember this is your mirrror)

why wouldn't you want
to see this
and offer it
and receive this
of yourself?

Oh, Heaven!
what else 
could you really 
rather have
in this moment?

why not
try it?

what do i have to lose
except
that which i am imagining
now?

nothing need be different
be cause
it is
already the wisest expression of Love possible

wise wise wise
old
"spatula"...

so much beyond this
right here
in front
of our eyes

kitty and cowboy

kitty is a slow drinker,
tiny laps of milk,
cannot guzzle
bottle of whiskey
found in street

she would die

but cowboy
on the prairie
finds the fire
melts in his mouth
slides down
the pipe
to belly warm
motion turning
burners flying

the mouth
can fire
and dance
and smoke even!
maybe even stampede

kitten
comes and goes
as she will,
not one drop
more
'til it does


stampede into a funnel?

of one dropper
at a time....?

hmmm....

yes,
one drop on her tongue
can go a long long way

to savor
each miniscule
molecule
overflowing


pondering
pondering
pondering
is how

the light gets in...

body tells the truth

the body can't hold together
a mind
at war

this side pulls left,
right side of head and face
constricts in pain

repelling ideas
can't settle
together

blood pressure
rises
from effort
of trying to force
square into round

harder
harder
i believe it to be so!
it must be!!!
and it is not...

no matter how gargantuan
the pressure applied...
impossible

demands for time spent
in two places,
two spaces at once
cannot be

body cannot

straining to act out
impossible ideas,
it breaks down,
separate discs
tendons
knees
broken
no accidents ever

head stressed
to hold
impossible concoctions

like Love
gone sour

God
in a coffin

me
standing on top

sealing the fate of
the world
to lack
and strain
and fear
to come clean

body cannot
 contain this

pain will set us free

the moment
it reaches
an intolerable state

we will no longer
tolerate it...

drop all our scripts,
and just follow
the simple
 direction


joy
health
no conflict
one mind
one will

body follows
effortlessly...

no pain:

One

the tender hearted sloth

the tender hearted sloth

inebriates me

telling me all sorts

of stories

that can never be true

like a fool

i drink the wine

thinking it a delicious feast

from God

well, maybe it is,

said She, from behind the veil

maybe the sour taste in your mouth

is but the sign of immaturity,

still wanting to be fed

your mother's milk

the bottle on the table now

is very old,

the stories you drink

have made men blind

for years

thinking even their families

were against them

today

the bottle is empty

the tender hearted sloth

has nothing left in his bag

just wind

every song has been played

all there ever was...

was a circling of air

from beginning to end

just a circle

no matter how slow

or how fast,

you are held fast

to the circle,

always

on the road

Home....

Light side up

the reflection (in the mirror)
isn't you

the source is not the mirror

the mirror is innocent...
impossible a reflection can be guilty

or see!
or feel!
or taste!
or think!

you are light!(under standing...)
not,
the reflection in the mirror

light is free

infinite

think not
you are only a bean,
one beam,

it cannot be
a beam
has any existence at all
without all of it

only construed thinking,(very construed)
completely insane,
arrogance of ridiculous proportions,
would claim,
could pretend
to "believe"
it so

no one in their right mind
would but laugh

separation from "your brother",
from "a tree"...

only laughter is appropriate...

insanity blazing!

come on, really...?

your blood is different
your bones...
your sadness...
your joy...
your compassion...
your capacity for tenderness...
your terror
and indignation
and self righteousness...


your need for oxygen?
and breakfast?

your need
for  truth?!
integrity
and generosity?

your laughter?

no no no
sweet sweet innocent child,

you
are not
the mirror

you
are light

whole
one
forever and ever and ever
(bodies cannot divide truth)

no crumbs
have ever existed
in Reality

unlimited,
only Joy
planted her leaves
on this ground
and forever grows
and grows
and grows

your brother and you
are one plant
one breath
one be ing

i watch myself
everywhere i look

"driving a car"
"putting on shoes"

there are no
"my" feet,
nor "yours"

only God's
feet of Light

every step
a gift
of Love
love
love
love
love.....

Source

we are not here
to fix
the mirror,
only to remember
what we are...

Light

shining shining shining....

face

what would i be
without the thought
"i need a body"?

holiness
simply rests

in the mind

knowing rests

it has seen to the end and back

it just is

like daybreak
no chance (even in hell)
you can stop it

nor the earth from spinning
nor the beautiful sparkle in your eyes

isn't it amazing
you came with a face?!

what a landscape!

have you ever really taken a trip there,
explored
every cranny
every mode of expression?

the ride of an eyebrow?
so many subtleties,
endless combinations
with jaw
and flushing of cheeks

oh my my my

what else in the world can do such things?!

ok,
yes,
another door flies open!

for surely a carpet,
too,
has so many lights
in which to be seen

the key
is getting really
 really close

of course you  must
get down on your knees
or belly,
even better,

to see
the intricasies,
the wonders,
of creation
in a rug

right under your nose!
and you've never even
noticed
the twill
the twirl
the tworling
strands of color
interweavings,
no separate function
of even the tiniest of thread

all for the whole

every eyelash
every freckle
every pimple

"skinning my knees on God" (Hafiz)

my face
touching
the face of the Invisible

transparent mask

the heat within
unmasked
at last

fiery cheeks
glowing embers
of the Divine

amazing face
amazing grace